


The Stars No Longer Shine In Your Eyes

by YouarethereasonIwrite



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Character Death, Cheating, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Mental Illness, Slight fluff, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-03-29 09:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 40,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3892000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouarethereasonIwrite/pseuds/YouarethereasonIwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Kuroko Tetsuya and I have a cheater for a boyfriend as well as a death inducing disease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starry Nights Hidden In Stormy Clouds

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write a super angst fic with my otp so here we go! I love akakuro so much but sometimes, I just want to watch the world burn c;  
> Please enjoy and this fic is unbeta'd! Buckle in kiddos, this is gonna be a long ride.

 

I know my boyfriend has been cheating on me for a while now. I’m not an idiot. I can detect the slight different smell wafting off of my boyfriend when he comes home. I can taste how the tension sparkles through the air when he comes home, a contrast to when he’s out with his friends or with that one person he’s cheating on me with. And I definitely know he’s cheating on me when he doesn’t even bother to hide the marks embedded on his skin like a proud tattoo.

Unlike what most people believe, I am not emotionless. I may be a phantom and I may be monotone when I speak or act, but one thing for sure, I am _not_ a heartless robot like my boyfriend believes I am.

The thing is, there’s a lot of things in life I could predict. Like falling in love, or being cheated on with one of my old teammates from my high school basketball team (I still don’t know who it is though, but I have my theories). I expected Aomine, Kise, Momoi, and Kagami to be angry (and I was right). I knew Midorima would act indifferent but be disgusted by my boyfriend’s actions. I interpreted Murasakibara’s displeased (slight) frown on his face; his loyalty to our middle school team captain wouldn’t fade, however, so he chose not to comment. And, so on. However, I certainly did not expect to be told I harbored a life threatening disease within me: cancer.

I remember zoning out when my doctor told me what kind of cancer I contained in my body. He talked simply like one would chat about the weather over afternoon tea and I was nothing but a parting acquaintance. I nodded along, but my brain already fried itself after hearing the word “cancer”. I was going to die. _I **am**_ _going to die._

The rest of it is a blur but they took some x ray scans and promised to tell me more at my next appointment the following week. After that, I wandered a bit, simply allowing my feet to follow whatever path it so desired. Lost in my thoughts, I blended into the background like a ghost passing across the bleary scenery, unnoticed. The slight summer breeze flowed through the strands of my hair as I stared down at the ground, watching the path I continued on to trail behind me.

I don’t know when my feet decided to take a break but all I knew was that my feet took me to the “secret garden” (as dubbed by my boyfriend back when we were closer than, well, now). Being here brought back fond memories. Like the day Akashi first showed me the beautiful haven was also the same day we shared our first, sweet kiss. Huddled in the shade of the trees, our light giggles and soft whispers danced across the air, mingling in with the rustles of the branches and staying forever secret. There were times when I grew upset when we fought so I would always seek comfort in the growing greenery, fragrant flowers, tall trees, and soothing shade, before Akashi would find me. Afterwards, we would exchange bashful apologies and make up kisses against the prickly grass and under the sun rays seeping through the tree leaves and blanketing us in warm comfort. It’s our breathtaking garden full of secrets, memories, and love.

Well, right before I crouched down on my knees to crawl towards the entrance of the garden, a faint murmur tingles against my sensitive ear. Being observant of other people as a phantom really helped improve my ears and eyes. Mumbles and rustles against the surrounding bushes were heard against the quiet summer breeze.

“Kouki…” I froze on the spot. All at once, I’m rooted down, much like the old tree roots holding the long past between my boyfriend and I. Because that voice, that velvety, melodious voice, belonged to none other than Akashi Seijuurou, the love of my life. I’m not breathing. Everything suddenly starts to make sense. I knew he was cheating on me but I never figured out with who. But now, the last puzzle piece fits perfectly into the complete picture and the answer spells out for me in my dead brain. _Leave. Leave **now.**_

The loving voices are replaced by honey like moans and sweet sounds of lips melding perfectly together. The small breakfast I ate beforehand decided to pay my throat a visit and I quickly escape the forbidden area before tears threaten to stream down my face. Pain strikes my heart first. Next, acceptance. And then, absolutely nothing. I feel empty and broken. Betrayed and positively sick. Nothing but the sounds of a dead monitor echo in my head, thudding harshly against my skull. A small cry escapes from my trembling lips, surprising other people enough to glance around, alarmed, before turning back to their own mundane lives and ignoring the shattering sob.

My name is Kuroko Tetsuya and I have a cheater for a boyfriend as well as a death inducing disease.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’ve long accepted the pain and sorrow that attacks my fragile soul when Akashi leaves me for another night to spend time with an old “friend”. As abandoned as I am, I refuse to allow anymore emotions to play out in front of him. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of my misery. So, just as he leaves during the dark hours of night, I escape during the day. I mainly hang out with Kise and Aomine, who support me fully. Today is the day Kise invites me out for lunch and I immediately accept. The sooner I’m out of that hellhole I call my home, the more liberated I feel.

“Why are you still with him, Tetsuyacchi?” Kise worriedly asks and I merely smile sadly, rubbing the rim of the teacup filled with _his_ favorite tea. I’m a goddamn masochist.

“You know why Kis-Ryouta-kun.” Even after years of knowing each other, I still can’t seem to drop my politeness.

“He’s just going to make you feel worse about yourself, you know.” Kise pauses to sip his lemon water. “I could always set you up with a few people I know. They’re great and super nice too!”

“Ryouta-kun, for the twentieth time, I don’t want to go on one of your blind dates.” _Nobody can replace him_ , is left unsaid and untouched. Kise pouts.

“But Tetsuyacchi! Don’t you have any belief in me?” His crocodiles tears leave no effect on me and I merely smile weakly in amusement.

“I trust you. I just don’t trust your taste in men. Or people in general.” Kise shoots me an offended look and I smile through the slight throbbing in my chest.

“Hey! I’m perfectly happy with Daikicchi! I don’t have that bad of a taste in men.” I send him a pointed look.

“The last person you set me up with tried getting me into “My Little Pony”.” I shudder at the memory.

“So he has different tastes than you. So what?” You can work through those differences.” I suppress the urge to roll my eyes and instead, sip my rapidly cooling tea. I clear my throat.

“He was thirty two and had five wives from some part of America.”

“Hey, in my defense, he’s a pretty good liar.” Kise put up his hands in defeat and a small smile peeks out of my dour facade. I cover it up with my teacup before Kise can notice.

“No more dates, Ryouta.” I roll my eyes when he whimpers pathetically and whines about how mean I am for putting such little trust in him.

“So, Tetsuyacchi… How have you been?” His serious tone cause me to pause for a moment and I easily shift my indifferent mask back on as I dab at my mouth with a napkin.

“Fine. What about y--” I don’t get to finish as the male sitting across from me cuts me off with a nasty snarl. My eyes widen a bit before settling back into its usual, blank look.

“Stop lying.” He continued once he saw I wasn't going to respond. “I saw Midorimacchi the other day.” My blood runs cold at those words. Unfortunately, I dumbly forgot that Midorima worked at a hospital. The exact same hospital I was currently going for check ups.

“And?” I calmly ask. My indifference seems to snap something within Kise, for he rounds on me with blazing eyes resembling his zone phase in basketball.

“When were you going to tell us? Tell me?”

“Eventually.” Kise actually snorted at my reply. I rose a brow at him but his sharp gaze deflected my nonchalant one.

“Eventually? When’s that? When you’re sent to a hospital out of nowhere and I get a phone call? Or maybe even on your deathbed?" He scoffs. I still at his words, processing them carefully and slowly before impassively ignoring the gut wrenching feeling passing through my stomach. The idea of death wasn't exactly pleasant in my mind. Kise is watching me intensely and I know I can not slip up.

“How much did he tell you?"

“Not much, honestly. Just asked if we knew you were visiting the hospital. I think he said something about confidentiality with the patients and how Midorimacchi wasn’t your doctor so he shouldn't worry. Well, yet.” Kise’s frown turned into a worried, pleading look. “Please, Tetsu! Tell me what’s going on! We’re all worried for you! Satsukicchi even said she was going to fly down from America cause she’s so worried.” I mentally flinched. I didn't want more people to be dragged into my illness. It was bad enough that noisy Kise knew.

“....I can’t say anything yet cause it’s not confirmed ( _whether I’ll live or die_ ). But,” I held up a finger, seeing as he was about to interrupt me, “I will tell you as soon as I find out. I promise.” Kise eyed me worriedly before dissolving back into his bubbly self. I sighed in relief on the inside. We both kept quiet about my condition after that as he babbled and whined about Aomine and how “he’s so lazy”. We also knew that both his and my smiles were fake but chose not to say a single word about it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A week passed by quickly as I avoided Akashi as much as I possibly could. It wasn't hard when the man himself was never home, but I took extra precautions just in case. I didn't want my act to split if we were to be stuck in the same room for a while.

Anyway, I patiently waited for my doctor in the consultation room, absentmindedly swinging my legs back and forth against the tall bed I was sitting on. My head snapped up when the door opened once more, revealing the elderly doctor who quietly sat down on his chair. He sighed, crinkled brown orbs resting on the papers in his hands.

“I’m sorry, Kuroko Tetsuya. I’m afraid the scans here tell me that you are diagnosed with colorectal cancer. And unfortunately, you are in stage four of this disease.” Time stopped.

“W-what?”

“You are in the last, most dangerous stage, Kuroko-san.”

“Am I going to die?” The doctor fixed his glasses with a solemn expression on his face. That was more than enough of an answer for me. I gulped, clasping my hands together to stop the shaking.

“There’s a high possibility you won’t survive this case, Kuroko-san. However, you can still perform a miracle. I have had some patients who pulled through in the end and now live healthy and strong lives.”

“What can I do?” The voice that speaks isn’t mine. Simply a weak, pathetic one that crawled out of my mind and into the air.

“Chemotherapy. There’s a chance you can still fight this, Kuroko-san. You are still young and you have so much to live for. I strongly advise you at least try.” The doctor placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and I stared down at the ground for a minute before meeting his expectant gaze. A million questions pounded forcefully against my head as thoughts and brief images of my friends and family ate away at my conscious. It was all too much.

“Please give me a few days to decide.” I finally breathed. It was a lot to take in, especially when my mind descended into turmoil. The doctor smiled at me sympathetically, squeezing my shoulder as a sign of comfort. A sigh rolled out of my mouth at the gesture.

“I understand. However, I expect an answer from you no later than three days.” I cock my head to the side at the words. But, deep inside, I knew exactly what he meant.

“Why?”

“Because…” He inhaled slowly, his gaze unreadable behind his glasses. “Because you only have a month left to live.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’s a lot to process, that’s for sure. I sat down on a rocking chair in the living room, running over my thoughts. I could either spend all of my money and be in debt with chemotherapy or die. It’s a tough decision I have to make. But what if I die even though I do undergo chemotherapy? What would be the point in spending my money over a huge, possible failure? I sighed, but I knew why I wanted to continue to live and breath.

When my grandma passed away, I was devastated. I refused to eat or drink anything and I stayed cooped up in my room for a few months. By passing away, I would be causing pain to the people around me that I actually cared about. I remember the smiles from all of my friends, from my coworkers, and from my remaining family members. It all passed by quickly as a bigger picture, one full of torturing pain, slipped into my mind. Crimson hair and ruby eyes. I mentally scoffed at the idea of _him_ actually crying over my death. Yeah right. _Except from Akashi,_ a voice inside my head snickered, _he’d be happy that you died._ I grunted, feeling pain spike in my abdomen.

Why hadn't I seen the symptoms earlier? The bloating, the pain, the constant bathroom trips. I thought it was all because I ate something bad and my body was trying to rid of the bacteria within, not some disease that could potentially kill. Well, I was partially right about my body, unfortunately.

“And now I have cancer. Yay.” I mutter aloud as I trudge my way to the bathroom to relieve myself. As I pass by my (no longer our) bedroom, I mentally note to take some antidepressants.

After the eventful bathroom trip, I weakly limp over to the bedroom before lying on the soft mattress. Sinking down, the crippling pain continued its onslaught and I pass out from the exhaustion shortly afterwards. In the back of my mind though, a seed of doubt had been planted and, little did I know, the seed would grow into something even more sinister and malicious.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It wasn’t until the next day that I woke up from incessant pounding against the front door. Groaning, I yelled a tired, “coming” before slipping out of the comfort and warmth of my bed. I ignored the usual punch against my gut and walk over to the front door as fast as my aching body can allow me. The rapping against the wooden door would not stop, and added in with jammed doorbell noises, I began growing quite irritated. I yanked the door open with my eyes closed from the discomfort in my stomach, about to give this person a piece of my mind.

“Yes?” I spoke harshly, a slight migraine accompanying the pang in my gut. I opened my eyes to glare at the person who dare wake me up from my fitful slumber, but the glare turns into a wide eyed stare at the other in front of my door. The last person I thought I would meet came in the form of a stubborn, green haired doctor, standing at my door at ten am with a grim look on his face. Midorima Shintarou, garbed in his hospital wear and everything, was standing in front of me with a small cat plushie in his left hand and a crystal orb in his right. I rose a brow at him.

“I knew Aquarius would have the worst of luck today but I didn’t think it would be this bad.” Midorima icily said. I blinked in confusion, my sleep muddled mind still attempting to stir from its sudden disturbance.

“Good morning, Midorima-kun. Thanks for stopping by to visit.” I calmly greet him (despite the throbbing circulating my whole body. Thanks Midorima for stopping by indeed) and step back to allow him to enter the house. He huffs and waltzes in, closing the door behind him. Good to know he was still polite as ever, even with an angry scowl plastered on his face.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone about this, you idiot?!” He spat out. I tipped my head to one side.  _Is he talking about…_

“About what?” He fixed his glasses with shaky fingers before pointed a taped finger in my face. If I wasn’t feeling so sick and fragile, I probably would have bit the finger to see Midorima’s humorous reaction (and also because he woke me up).

“ABOUT YOUR DISEASE!” _Called it._

“....Oops.” I could see a vein pop as he restrained himself. Part of me laughed at his controlled anger.

“What do you mean “oops”?!” Midorima scolded, gritting his teeth. I yawned as he continued his rant and zoned out, feeling the drowsiness finally catch up to me.

“I was going to tell you guys after I woke up.” I defended. His eyes narrowed further and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“And why didn’t you tell me this when you first found out?”

“I forgot.” It was half of the truth but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Midorima looked a second away  from snapping his glasses in half and making my nightmare of him becoming a crazed psychopath come true.

“HOW DO YOU FORGET SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT?!” He screeched. I dazedly watched as he went off on another tirade, holding back another yawn. “Are you listening to me, Kuroko? You could have been severely injured ( _or worse_ was left out) if no one knew about this.”

“....Thanks for worrying about me, Midorima.” I managed a small, sincere smile in his direction and instantly, red blossomed across his face.

“I’m not worrying about you! I just don’t want Kise to come crying to me and for Aomine to do something stupid! Just because I’m a doctor doesn’t mean I can fix all the problems in the world. Idiot Kise…” He muttered the last part. Chuckling under my breath--and wincing at the pain that followed--I ran a hand through my bizarre bed head. A comfortable silence settled in the room as Midorima pointedly stared at the wall as if it was the most fascinating thing ever. I fondly shook my head.

“Are both of those your lucky items for today?” I questioned. He seemed a bit thrown off by my abrupt change of topic but answered with an expert push of his glasses.

“Today’s lucky item for Aquarius is a crystal orb. I just so happened to have one with me so I thought you would be grateful enough to have it.” I laughed on the inside as he stuck out his hand with the clear crystal orb in it. Gingerly accepting the item from his calloused hand, I hold it close to my chest with a fond gleam in my eyes.

“Alright. Thanks, Midorima-kun.” A small, warm smile tugs at my lips as I gaze at my friend with gratitude shining in my eyes. “I’m lucky enough to have a friend like you.” He spluttered unintelligibly at my words and reddened more before muttering to himself. I internally snickered at the words “I didn’t do it for you” that I caught from his jumble of sentences. After a little while, Midorima broke the silence with a tiny clearing of his throat.

“So are you going to go through chemotherapy?” I stilled for a second, but fluidly reverted back to my robotic face.

“...I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it.” I replied truthfully with a shrug. The green haired male spluttered again.

“How can you be so nonchalant about this?!” He demanded, sounding like a mixture between upset and disbelief. I shrugged again. Honestly, I accepted the fact that I had a little less than a month left to live. It was kind of terrifying, how easily I adjusted to my death sentence.

“I don’t know. It all feels so surreal. Like it’s all a dream.” I admitted. Though the occasional “love pats” from my gut definitely confirmed that it wasn’t all some lucid hallucination.

“I see…” Midorima trailed off awkwardly, his empty hand moving as if to comfort me before dropping down uselessly next to his body. I stifle another chuckle with a fake cough.

“Oh, forgive me. I forgot my manners. Would you like some tea or coffee?” I offered. My arm gestured towards the empty couches, but Midorima shook his head.

“I have to go back to the hospital. I only came here to check on you and give you your lucky item. Mainly your lucky item.” I giggled at his denial as he turned towards the door, me trailing after him. Underneath the doorway, I grinned gratefully at Midorima one last time. He looked torn between giving me a hug, his arm awkwardly splayed out and bent for a one armed hug. When his eyes meet mine and noticed the amused glint in my eye, he huffed and retracted his arm, staring at anywhere but me. Chortling a bit, I close the distance between us and hug him fully, sadness creeping into my chest.

“Goodbye, Midorima-kun. It was nice seeing you.” I quietly stated. After he thawed out from his frozen state, he returned the embrace, albeit awkwardly. I sighed, feeling comfort from another person after a long time. Pulling back, a small smile tugs at my lips at my friend’s beet red face. He fumbled with fixing his glasses before turning away from me.

“And you.” He muttered, patting my head once before walking away from the house with a brisk pace. I waved at his retreating form until he became nothing but a fond memory, leaving behind stardust. I sighed, closing the door behind him me. Slumping down, my forehead lightly touched the shut door as I slid down onto the ground, tears dripping down like raindrops on a concrete pavement. My arms hugged my trembling body as the last of the warmth from Midorima disappeared.

Two more days until my final decision.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next day, another two of the former generation of miracles showed up at my door. After hearing from Midorima, the two all but demanded to spend time with me. I couldn’t decline when Aomine kept exchanging slightly worried glances with Murasakibara. Which led to Aomine barging into my house with Murasakibara in tow, carrying two grocery bags full of snacks, a bag with a big box, and a small, fancy bag with another box inside. I later learned that the small bag was full of homemade chocolates from Murasakibara and the other big box contained slices of cakes from Murasakibara’s bakery.

After being greeted (read: attacked) with a large bear hug from my mother, Aomine, and a lazy smile from Murasakibara, we sat down to chat a bit over cake and tea. We were having slices of cake when Aomine, who stayed silent after a while, finally piped up.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” I sighed, already anticipating the question. Having my phone filled with concerned messages from my old Seirin team, acquaintances, and family members, it was becoming a little… Overbearing. And with the frequent buzzing of my cell phone adding to my migraine, I was a bit agitated.

“I only found out a week ago, Daiki-kun.” I replied, sipping my tea to calm my nerves. The dark haired male suddenly banged his fists against the table, the teacups and teapot jostled by his rough movements. I held back a noticeable flinch and frowned disapprovingly at my best friend. Murasakibara chose to not comment, opting to chew on some more cake and snacks from his large bag; a slight furrow of his brow could be noticed, however.

“Why didn’t you tell us the day you went to see the doctor, Tetsu?!” Aomine scowled deeply, and in those fiery midnight orbs, I could find hints of betrayal and disappointment. A jab struck my lower abdomen, but I couldn’t feel it past the intense aching of my heart.

“I’m sorry. I should have said something sooner. But…” I paused to exhale. “I was scared. I was hoping it was all a dream or a mistake.” I curled in further in the couch, hoping the piece of furniture would swallow me up. I didn’t realize I was trembling badly until Murasakibara draped a long arm over me and gently pulled me to his side.

“Kuro-chin is sweet like vanilla.” I stilled, tears stopping in my wide eyes at his gentle words. A sob shook through my core and his arm clung tighter onto me, his stature almost hiding me completely from the outside, protectively. Aomine bewilderedly glanced back and forth at the both of us, mainly shocked at Murasakibara’s sudden announcement. But, for me, I felt a part of my heart melt. Despite his childish act and lazy personality, Murasakibara was actually quite caring and intelligent. I knew what he was trying to say (to try to praise me to lift my spirits up) and I was eternally grateful. I melted against his warm side, head pressed comfortably on my supportive friend.

“Oi, Murasakibara! What do you mean by that?” Aomine scratched his head in confusion. A scene from the Pokemon games flashed through my brain and I giggled, the tears dissipating from the thought. The giant next to me tilted his head so that his ear was closer to me.

“It hurt itself in its confusion.” I whispered in his ear, giggling again, and Murasakibara snorted. Aomine narrowed his eyes at the both of us and jabbed a fork threateningly in our direction. He would look more dangerous, if not for the cake crumbs smeared around his mouth area, and I snorted under a hand.

“What are you two assholes whispering about?” He accused, stuffing a whole slice of cake into his mouth and causing him to resemble a chipmunk.

“We were merely observing how the strawberry shortcake fit perfectly with the vanilla cake and whipped cream.” I replied with a straight face. The dark skinned male peered at the both of us. Unfortunately for him, I’m famous for being the most closed book person he’s ever met and Murasakibara lazily ate more snacks without looking up.

“Fine.” Aomine huffed, scooping up another slice of cake and munching on half of it. I exchanged an amused glance with my giant friend, sipping on the black tea. Murasakibara hummed through his six slice of cake and pat my head softly. He merely grunted when I whispered a fond, “thank you”, but noticed the small smile on his lips.

As I leaned more of my weight on my friend and listened to the babbling from Aomine with some wild chase from his job, I numbly thought of the time ticking by and the disease consuming me from the inside.

One more day until my final decision.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I spent the majority of the morning with Aomine and Kise (they were basically a package deal) before Aomine had to go take care of some cop business. When the couple shared a longing kiss, I turned away, my heart clenching. After their blatant PDA (which kind of felt like they were rubbing it in my face even if they weren’t), Kise smiled at me, dragging me outside for lunch. It was a warm summer day, a slight wind picking up and ruffling my hair. The blonde decided on a nice, quaint cafe and forced us to sit outside, his disguise repelling paparazzi and screaming fans.

I didn’t order much other than another hot cup of tea and a sandwich. Kise’s eyebrows knit together at the small portion of food on the table on my side.

“You should eat more, Tetsuyacchi! You won’t get better if you don’t stay healthy!” I decided to spare him the gruesome details of my bowel movement and bathroom tendencies. Instead, I shook my head and nibbled on the sandwich. He skeptically stared at my pitiful lunch.

“This is good.” I pressed on.

“But--” He shut up at my “drop it” glare and stared down at his salad. Picking at his lunch with a fork, the blonde stared dejectedly at his salad. I sighed at the tense atmosphere, putting down my sandwich.

“I’m sorry, Ryouta-kun. I know you care. I’m just a little too nervous to eat right now. I’ll try to eat something later.” At my words, Kise perked up and beamed sunnily at me. Afterwards, he dug into his salad, talking between his bites about his pilot career and other stories. I fondly smiled and managed to eat the whole sandwich without feeling too queasy. Kise continued on with his rambling, chatting about how he was on vacation and how he could spend time with his “Daikicchi”. As he laughed about something his coworker did, I finished my cup of tea and cleared my throat.

“This was fun, Ryouta-kun. Thanks for hanging out with me.” I smiled and Kise grinned even wider. If he was a dog, his tail would be wagging faster than an engine while barking continuously. I chortle at the thought as Kise tilts his head to one side like a dog would. I smile, thinking of Nigou, who was currently residing with my parents.

“Why are you laughing, Tetsuyacchi? Is there something on my face?” The blonde scrubbed furiously at his face, prompting another laugh from me.

“No. You just remind me of a dog.”

“Waaah! Meanie!” He whined like a dog and I rolled my eyes at him, smile still on my face.

“You’re not really helping your case, Ryouta-kun.” Ignoring his wails of me being mean, I checked the time on my phone. “I should head home now. I need to make dinner for tonight and get some paperwork done for my school.” I informed my friend as I rose up from the chair. Kise copied my actions (perfectly too) and fixed his best puppy eyes on me.

“Can I come over Tetsuyaachi? Please? I haven’t had your cooking a long time!” _Not since Akashi turned cold and began ignoring you_ , was out in the air and etched into my very being. Sighing, I motioned for him to follow me. It’s not like I’ll have company anyway.

“Please don’t disturb me when I’m working.”

“But I’ll be bored!” He childishly whined. I ignored his loud voice and walked back the familiar route of the house I stayed in. I was a bit surprised Akashi didn’t kick me out of his house yet. _He’s going to have to come home in the first place if he ever wants to throw me out._ I bitterly think, a gnawing pang upsetting my stomach.

“That’s what the tv is for.” I reply without a beat and Kise wailed again about how I was being mean to “your best friend”, as said by the annoying blond. I considered jabbing him in the side but he would probably cry some more. I just can’t win.

I shivered from a sudden chill rolling down my spine. The gut wrenching feeling in my stomach intensified as we neared closer to the house. It was coming into sight. A bad feeling was creeping up on my already burdened shoulders and I felt dread well up in the pit of my sore stomach.

“Tetsuyacchi, are you okay?” Kise frowned, about to shrug off his jacket for me but I hastily waved him off. Clenching my fists to decrease the shaking, I train my eyes on the house that we were only two minutes away from.

“I’m fine.” I lied. “I just felt a sudden chill.” The blonde looked at me skeptically before shrugging it off, glancing around at the nice scenery. I’m relieved he didn’t press on the matter but I could feel his scorching eyes burning my back.

When we arrived back to the house, I noticed two things that set my internal alarms off: 1) Akashi’s car was back in the driveway and 2) when I stepped into the house, there was a pair of unknown shoes placed neatly next to Akashi’s. The dread from before swooped down my stomach before joining the sick feeling that slowly crawled up my throat. Kise curiously glanced at my rapidly paling face before understanding dawned on him. His playful eyes turned into one of a predator’s, a snarl vibrating from his throat. The blonde puppy transformed into a ferocious wolf and it wasn’t afraid to attack.

“Ryouta.” I waited until his attention drew back on me before I began to talk. Exhaling harshly, I ignore the noises coming from down the hallway and breath anxiously through my mouth. I really hated the loud echo this house had. “Don’t.”

“But Tetsuya--” I closed my eyes and tried to imagine I was in a bed of clouds instead of this disgusting house filled with even more disgusting monsters. The comforting shadows enveloped over me, banishing the light of truth.

“Please.” I reopen my eyes, silently begging for no blood to be shed over me. For as much as I pretended and said I resented the sneering figure of my cheating asshole of a boyfriend, I still loved him in the end. My unrequited love would be the death of me, literally. Kise growled, low in his throat, at the animalistic sounds echoing through the halls. I flinched, but held my ground.

“He can’t keep treating you like shit, Tetsu!” He barked. Aomine was rubbing off of him, I could tell. I chuckled weakly under my breath, the suffocating pain from inside my stomach expanding to around my whole body.

“ I know.” _I know._ I exhaled through my nose and concentrated on the pain filtering through my entire body instead of the increasing noises from a room I was well acquainted with. I urged those feelings away and huddled myself into a small hug. Kise’s glare softened.

“Tetsuya…” He sadly murmured, a comforting, warm hand brushing the cold tears dripping down my colder cheeks. I silently wept, eyes fixed on the ground.

“Let’s just leave.” A loud scream erupted from the house, as if telling me to leave. “Please.” I begged. The two of us exited out of the door without another word. I shoved the key into the lock and turned away, willing the sounds from before to exit my body, much like the tears falling steadily from my dull eyes. I fled. Away from the house that haunted my dreams, away from the sounds playing inside that house like a twisted melody. A yelling Kise is hot on my heels, but I don’t care.

“Stop, stop, stop.” Flashbacks of when we were together ate away at my conscious. I clench my teeth, arms clutching tightly around my shivering form. “Please, stop!” I sob out as another image, raw and bright and clear as the summer day, attacked my brain, leaving me naked and scared for my life. The image blurred. Fleeting touches. Muffled giggles. Addictive warmth. Fond eyes. Sweet words. Soft pecks.

“Tetsu!” Kise caught up with me quickly enough and pulled me into a gentle, warm hug. A warm hug that slams familiarly into my soul and reminds me too much of _him_. I push him away with the storm in my eyes raining down the pain and sorrow from within.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper. Kise shushes me and embraces my shaking form. Numbness seeps into the cracks from my past scars and I clutch onto my friend’s jacket like it’s the last thing keeping me alive, keeping me sane.

“Shh. It’s ok, Tetsuya. Let it out.” I muffle a cry against his cashmere sweater, screams ripping violently out of my throat and leaving me breathless and choked. His sweater soaks it all up and I can’t help but think that’s exactly what I am. A vial overflowing, soaking, with liquid depression and deep regret.

“Akashi! Akashi!” My lungs burn like strong alcohol blazing a fire down my throat as I call out his name in guttural screeches. The pain and sorrow ensnaring my heart, body, and soul in a merciless trap from the remembrance of my so called boyfriend thrashes around like I’m a punching bag for its sadistic pleasure.

“It’s going to be okay, Tetsuya.”  _, No it’_ _s not._ “You’re going to be okay.” _Please don’t lie._

I don’t know when I stop crying or even if I do when Kise holds me in his arms like I’m fragile glass, ignores all the whispers from the wind and surrounding people. and cradles me until we’re at his house with a shocked Aomine running at the door. I can’t sense the time that drags by as I hear the hushed murmurs of my two friends through the crack of my door. I won’t think of how many times my mind races back to the scene from before, loud noises booming across the empty house.

That night, I cry myself to sleep in Kise’s guest bed. I forget the buzzing pain from my stomach and the stabbing hurt in my heart as I doze off from utter exhaustion. Curling up in a feeble ball, I close my eyes and dream of the old Akashi who used to give me vanilla kisses. Who was actually a romantic dork that would drag me up from the couch to dance with him around the house as laughter and music filled the house. The old Akashi, who smiled sweetly in my dreams and bitterly in real life. That night, I dream of dying and seeing the Akashi Seijuurou I know and love.

0 days left until my final decision.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up to the sound of people screaming. Blinking away the last of my sleep, I ignore the protest from my abdomen and curiously pad outside the slightly cracked door. Naturally, the first thing I search for is Kise and Aomine. And judging by the two figures yelling at each other in the living room, I had found the two (fighting no less).

“He can’t keep fucking living with that goddamn bastard anymore!”

“I know that! You know that! We _all_ know that, Daiki!”

“Then why the hell is Tetsu still living there?!” The onyx colored orbs glint darkly, like the night sky covered with dark thunder clouds.

“Because he sees the Akashi he knows and loves inside of that monster! Because he loves Akashi with all of his fucking heart!” I nearly gape at the blond’s cussing. He’s never cussed before, at least, not in front of me.

“How does he know he’s going to change back to the one he loves? What if it’s not soon enough? What if he never changes back ever?!”

“Because I did the same thing for you!” A shocked silence drifted over the living room. Sharp golden eyes filled with searing fire dims down, the flames dimming down to a firefly’s beam.

“What?”

“Remember back in middle school and the first year of high school? When you used to be all like “the only one who can beat me is me”? Well, I still loved you despite all of that! Hell, I didn’t even know if you would ever change back!”

“Ryouta…” A harsh sob whipped across the air and bounced off the walls.

“I never knew if you would ever go back to being the basketball idiot I knew and loved. I’m just lucky that Tetsuyacchi turned you back.” A sniffle. “I know what Tetsuyacchi is feeling right now. That’s why I’m still supportive. Because I know what it’s like to lose someone you cherish the most.”

“Oh, Ryou.” A sigh and a rustle of clothes as the two embrace. Kise’s sobs are heard with the occasional, sorrow filled sigh.

“You’re right though. I just don’t know if it’ll be in time. Tetsuyacchi is already suffering enough. He doesn’t deserve this…”

“Fuck… I know, Ryouta, I know. Tetsu doesn’t deserve any of this. It’s all that bastard’s fault.” Aomine growls. Another thick silence with a few sniffles and small whimpers.

I’ve heard enough at this point. Blending in with the shadows, I slink off into the darkness of the walls and past the room I previously slept in.

I revived Akashi once in basketball, and I’m certain that I can at least try and do it again with my time limit. Well, hopefully… With a strong resolve in mind, I sneak out the back door and head over to my former home, a million thoughts buzzing in my head.

The constant throb of my abdomen is forgotten and replaced with brewing anxiety, like a storm about to rain down hell. I was nearing the house, and my previous confidence began to fizzle and fade away like smoke from a small fire. Using my keys, I unlocked the shut door before me and quietly crept into the house. Closing the door behind me, the usual silence greets me home.

Akashi’s car was still outside and the two pairs of shoes from yesterday lay on the floor, yet untouched. I knew he was home. They were both at home. Breathing in a deep breath, I walk across the familiar wooden boards, that creak under my feet, down the hallway, and further into the abyss. There was no turning back now, not with my mind set.

I knew where Akashi would be. I knew him well enough to know every little quirk and every little thing he did or would possibly do because of our past closeness. Too bad it was gone. The feeling of how close we once were burned in my chest. I pushed on regardless.

The door cracked open at my slight touch as the clean, untouched room revealed itself. It was his mother’s room. A dash of hope leapt up my throat as my pounding heart filled the silence. An all too familiar redhead sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at a picture frame with his mother in it. His back was to the door. The male didn’t show any indication that he heard the door creak open, but I knew better.

“Tetsuya.” My dash of hope slipped onto the floor and was crushed into a million pieces under his feet as Akashi stood up to greet me eye to eye. His cold voice pierced through my soul.

“Akashi…” Now what? I was finally talking to him again but now what?

“What are you doing here?” My body froze at his unwelcoming tone. I gulped and willed the pain in my stomach to go away and leave me alone for the time being. I couldn’t do much for my heart, however.

“...What do you mean?” I asked, my voice trembling as pain floods through my system and overrides my brain system.

“I mean why are you in my house?” In the distance I can hear my heart shattering into jagged pieces as I stared wide eyes at this, this imposter. This was not Akashi Seijuurou. This was _him_.

“Why?” He raises a brow as my eyes drop to the floor, the memories from our past stirring up deep within me. “What happened to Akashi Seijuurou?” A deep chuckle resonated from his throat. My stomach dropped down to the floor in the pieces of glass shards from my broken heart.

“What are you talking about, Tetsuya? I **am** Akashi Seijuurou.” Numbness filled me to the core as shock settled into my system. Too many things were going on at once in my body, but one thing it seemed to understand was pain and grief.

“N-no…” I gasp, gasp for air as if I’m suffocating and drowning in the depths of a nightmare colored ocean. His eyes are wide with insanity as he surveys my weak, shaking body with little interest.

“Akashi? Akashi, where are you?” A timid voice calls out from the distance. It’s closer than it actually is. I know it. Akashi doesn’t once blink or avert his gaze with mine as he opens his mouth to reply.

“In here, Kouki.”

“Why did you do this to me?” I blinked away tears, a strange emptiness chasing away the last of my sorrow. He merely looks amused at my wrecked state and an unusual flame of resentment flares within me.

“Why, do what, Tetsuya?” I grit my teeth at his mocking tone, an uncharacteristic snarl curling up against my frigid, bitter lips. I felt chilled to the bone, like I’ve been dunked into icy water.

“Were you just playing with me?” Another call of “Akashi” echoes through the hallways, but we are both too locked up in our own world, our own battle.

“No.” I felt almost relief wash through me for one moment. “Because I never loved you.” Only for the the relief to turn into a backstabbing tidal wave that angrily threw me around like a ragdoll. Water welled up in my blurry eyes once more.

“Don’t lie to me.” I begged, the salty waves flowing through my eyes. His heterochromatic eyes glistened with surges of power and hateful glares. Another wave tucks over my head and drowns me.

“I never lie,” no. Please no, “after all, I am absolute.” No. And in that moment, I knew I lost the Akashi I loved forever. The waves cry louder, thrashing me back and forth until pain is all I can feel and pain consumes my body in a vice like grip, suffocating the last of the small air in my lungs. Beyond the screams of the storm, I hear a faint “Kuroko”, and then screams from my companions. Black spots start to dot across my eyes and the unbearable pain from my stomach feels like it will explode inside my body. A slight dribble of liquid escapes from my parted lips as a loud wail, that doesn’t sound like anyone else’s in the room, thunders around the inside of the room as I begin my descent to the ground. With the last of my vision as I’m falling down to the floor, I reach out for Akashi one last time and whisper, “I love you”. In the last of my consciousness, I see a flicker of light in the dark eyes that I once adored. A flicker of my past lover as his sneering face morphed into one of horror.

0  hours left. Time is up.

 

 


	2. Visible Stars and Invisible Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reason behind Akashi's weird and hurtful actions. Questions (possibly) answered. Angst and a bit of fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo! Sorry this is so late ;0 I did not mean to drag this out for so long but damn! Idk I've been pretty lazy and I kept procrastinating but I finally wrote this fic (started three days ago and wrote little by little until I was done today! Yay!). And to apologize, this chapter is FUCKING HUGE. LIKE BIGGER THAN A PORN STAR'S DICK. IT'S WHOPPING 24 PAGES OF ANGST AND TINY BITS OF FLUFF. There will be EVEN MORE angst next chapter (it has the most angst tbh) and then it will be the end B) Thanks for sticking with me for so long!

 

Everything is a blur. A complete blanket of darkness resting comfortably upon his shoulders. The male stirs, the darkness coiling back like mist and revealing his figure. Blinking away the last of his previous unconsciousness, the male stands up, examining the area with calculating eyes. The conclusion from his gatherings force a gasp out of him.

"No." His glance at the grey like void confirms his fears. "Not here again." Paling, the male manages to stumble his way further into the empty fog. When he reaches a viewing point to the familiar room of his deceased loved one, the male knows, feels it in his gut like a persistent thorn, absolutely _knows_ that he fucked up. For the same hopelessness from back when _he_ took over and crushed the other team, played with them with merciless yet bored mischief as the other was forced to watch with horrified eyes, that similar look in his eyes was enough to conclude that Akashi really did fuck up. He was able to control his body once again when he slipped up from his lover's fall, the other male gazing at him with honest, hurt, yet loving orbs that seared Akashi to the very bone.

"No." He repeated, anguish injecting in through vials of poison that emptied its contents in his stiff body. The crumpled body before him lay untouched and still. Red seeped out from the ghostly skin, from nearly blue parted lips that reflected just as blue eyelashes and the even bluer orbs hidden behind shut eyelids. The redhead barely registered a shrill shriek in the distance. He was worlds away, disbelieving eyes still connected to the phantom, who was shaded quickly by a golden blur.

"Call the ambulance!" Kise's voice commanded. The blonde tenderly stroked the phantom's cheek, trembling fingers carefully cupping the pale cheeks. "Tetsuya...." Kise softly spoke, sobs overlapping sloppily with his words. "You're going to be okay, Tetsuyacchi. Just stay with me, okay? Don't look into the light, it's not your time yet. Oh gods,  _please_."

"Get out of the way!" Aomine snarled at the frozen Furihata and shoved past Akashi. The tan male stopped abruptly at his lover kneeling in front of his unmoving best friend. "Oh my god. Tetsu.... No..."

"He's ok Daiki, we just need to wait until the ambulance comes." The blonde reassured through sniffles. He looked like he was trying to convince himself as well. Aomine grit his teeth, wild midnight orbs immediately trained on the source of all of his best friend's pain and possible death.

"You!" The enraged male bellowed, fist aimed at the redhead as he launched a hard punch into Akashi's face. Akashi grunted. He could barely feel the pain from the shock. Carefully touching his bruised jaw, the redhead stared back up at his friend and previous team mate.

"Daiki!" Kise yelped, jumping up to restrain his boyfriend. Aomine roared, trying desperately to escape the blonde's clutches to release his anger on his former captain. "Furihata, please help me!"

"Y-yes!" The brunette snapped out of his shocked state and shakily clung onto Aomine's side. He spared a worried glance to his former team mate before helping Kise to tame the beast. Aomine glared harshly at the new person on his body and curled his lip disgustingly.

"Don't touch me, _whore._ " The onyx haired man spat venomously. Furihata recoiled back from the harsh insult with a hurt look on his face, but didn't let go.

"Daiki! This isn't his fault!"

"If he hadn't cheated with that bastard on Tetsu than our best friend wouldn't be nearly dying on the fucking floor!" Furihata flinched at the tallest male's loud and stinging words. Kise felt a bit of sympathy at the brunette but couldn't help but agree with his boyfriend.

"He didn't know, Daiki!" Kise fought anyway. The sooner his boyfriend calmed down, the better. "You can deal with Akashi and Furihata later! For now, we have to focus on Tetsu!" Aomine immediately halted his thrashing at the mention of his best friend. Before he could utter a sentence, the ambulance crew burst through the door and searched for the injured patient.

"He's over here!" Kise jerked his head towards Kuroko's direction. The ambulance care assistants stared weirdly at Kise's position as they were setting the stretcher on the ground. A first responder quickly knelt down to Kuroko's level and began checking the body for any fatal injuries. Afterwards, they signaled for the ambulance assistants to carry him into the ambulance. They carefully loaded Kuroko's limp body onto the gurney before hastily wheeling him out of the house, people shouting orders to each other. Kise worriedly but at his lip at the scene and mentally debated on whether or not to leave Aomine here or drag him to the hospital. He shook his head and tugged at his unresponsive boyfriend.

"Daiki." The other didn't respond. "Daiki, let's go. We can talk to Akashi later. Right now, Tetsu needs us more than ever." Kise urged, pulling on his boyfriend. Aomine finally budged and they both began to sprint out of the room to catch up.

"Wait!" Furihata glanced at the frozen Akashi who merely stared at the ground. He swallowed nervously. "Let me come too! I'm Kuroko's friend as well!" Aomine opened his mouth, but Kise beat him to it.

"Ok. Tetsuyacchi needs all the support from his friends right now." Kise glanced at Akashi and his sweet face soured. "Not like he cares about Tetsuya." The blonde coldly stated. Huffing at the lack of response, Kise turned tail and left the room, but not without another pointed glare at Akashi.

The redhead didn't say a word. Everything was hard to process at the moment. He could hear the front door being slammed in the background and could feel his body slump down to the floor. Water dripped on his shaking hands. Those blue eyes, scorching through his very soul, was etched into his brain. Those beautiful orbs filled with innocent pain and undying love were going to forever haunt his dreams. He had crushed those emotions. Those precious emotions from his most precious person. And he had savagely stomped on them. A small, barely noticeable cry exhaled from his mouth as he melted into the ground, the hardwood floor digging against his back. The white ceiling reminded him harshly of his situation, of Tetsuya's situation, and he knew that nothing he could and would do would ever erase the sins of his actions. As he slipped away with a weak heart and closed eyes, Akashi allowed his other self to take over. As long as he never had to wake up to this terrible reality, he was fine with never resurfacing again.

After all, a king is nothing without his queen, and his ethereal, stunningly beautiful queen was dethroned, leaving the king to fade away.

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

The first thing in my mind when my unconsciousness released the hard grip on me was the death white walls and ceiling that met my eyesight. I blinked. The smell of strong medicine, slight bleach, and something that just screamed "hospital", filled my nostrils and I weakly wrinkled my nose. I'm exhausted. Judging from the little to no aching in my side, I was given painkillers. Strong ones too if I was feeling like a tranquilized bear.

"Oh, you're up! The doctor will be glad to hear this!" I jumped at the new voice. So this is how people feel when I suddenly appear in their line of vision. I sleepily stare at the nurse, who smiled warmly at me.

"You can see me?" I blearily asked, muscles protesting as I sat up. Her lips turned down at my sudden movement and she clicked her tongue. The nurse appeared in front of me again and pushed me back down to a lying position.

"Don't push yourself! You really should rest more." She eyed me critically. I sighed.

"How can you see me?" I pressed and her smile returned.

"Of course I can silly! You're not a ghost!" She laughed. My face remained blank but on the inside, I wondered what she meant. I've been in a hospital before and no one ever noticed me. I could have been bleeding out of my anus all over the pristine floors but no one would be able to see me. Apparently until now, though.

"I have a weak presence." I explained weakly. She stopped laughing, but a small smile remained as she peered at me. Nodding, she thoughtfully stroked her chin. "I guess I can see that. It's hard not to notice though."

"Huh?" I'm so confused.

"Well, you see...." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're practically glowing."

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

"Tetsuyacchi!" A blonde blur passed my vision as the bane of my existence gently hugged me with a loud sob.

"Ryouta-Kun." I greeted, fondly sighing as I stroked his head. He was practically sprawled on the bed with me and his head lay on my stomach as he continued to wail into my shirt. I smiled at the two other people accompanying the noisy blonde.

"Tetsu...." Aomine's frown turned into a relieved smile. "You're okay." My heart surged at his words and I smiled warmly at him.

"I'm not a real phantom yet, Daiki-Kun." I joke and Aomine snorts. I sober up as I move on to the next person. The brunette fidgets under my monotone gaze as he stares worriedly at me. This was the man that cheated with Akashi on me. This was the man that I should feel contempt and anger towards. But, this was also the man that was hardworking, determined, and one of my dear friends. I couldn't-- _wouldn't_ \--stay mad at him.

"Furihata-kun." He jumped at my words as he gulped. The room was deathly silent as the brunette tensed up, probably waiting for me to start screaming profanities at him. Instead, I smile with one arm outstretched to him. "It's nice to see you again."

"Eh?" The brunette confusedly stares at me. He looks a bit relieved, but confused all the same. "Aren't you mad at me?" I shake my head, staring at Kise's head as I stroke his blonde tresses.

"Did you know that Akashi was cheating on me with you?"

"No! I would never do that to you!" He loudly declares, a small disgusted look on his face at the thought. I smile warmly at him.

"Then why would I be mad?" Aomine snorts and mumbles something about me being too forgiving. I roll my eyes at him and smile encouragingly at the timid brunette. Furihata tears up before launching his body at me, sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Kuroko! I'm so sorry! If I had known I would have never dated him! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" Furihata apologizes again and again. My heart melts at my amazing friends and I pat his head.

"It's ok, Furihata-kun." I soothingly reply, stroking his head as he sniffles. "I forgive you." At my words, the brunette cries more as he buries his head deeper into my side. The room is filled with sniffles and the occasional sob as I comfort my friend.

"You're such a nice person, Furicchi!" Kise suddenly pipes up, showing everyone his teary face. "I'm sorry for thinking badly of you!" Kise wails, clutching Furihata's hand with his own. The brunette looks bewildered, staring wide eyes at the crying blonde who just bestowed him with an interesting nickname.

"I-It's ok, Kise." Furihata sniffles and I hand him a tissue from the table next to me. He thanks me as he blows his nose and dabs at his eyes.

"Does anyone else know?" The brunette questions after a moment of thoughtful silence. I shake my head.

"Only the generation of miracles and my family know." I absentmindedly play with Kise's hair as he dozes off on my stomach and practically feeds off of my attention like a dog pining for it's owner's attention.

"Oh. So Kagami doesn't know? And what about everyone else?" Furihata worriedly asks and I sigh.

"No. I don't want them to worry for now. I'll tell them in a bit, but for now, I don't think I'm ready to face them." I admit, glancing at Aomine who was leaning against the door with his eyes closed like he was sleeping. I knew better though.

"But--"

"Didn't you hear him, shorty? Tetsu said he's not ready." Aomine growled, eyes flashing open to glare intimidatingly at Furihata. The brunette eeped and hid himself behind me. I frown at Aomine as he closes his eyes once more.

"Daiki." I chide. "I would appreciate it if you didnt intimidate my friend and former team mate." The taller male grunts, crossing his arms like a wannabe gangster.

"You may forgive him but I don't yet." I roll my eyes at his overprotective nature and swing my head back to my cowering friend. Patting his head, I give him a reassuring smile.

"Sorry about him. Daiki likes to pretend he is my mother." I smirked a bit when my dark skinned friend spluttered my name and rose from his slouching position on the wall. Kise snickers and looks away innocently when his boyfriend sends daggers to his skull. Even Furihata, shy and sweet Furihata, giggles under his breath.

"Oi, Tetsu! I am not trying to be your mother!"

"Yes, mom."

"You-!" Kise snorts up laughter and clutches his side, ignoring the betrayed glare shot from his loving boyfriend as he laughed into my stomach. I chuckled lowly, reveling in the friendly atmosphere and supportive friends around me. Kise blew a kiss to his boyfriend with a wink and a mouthed apology while Aomine pretended to ignore the other. I’m not blind, however. I may be on my death bed, but I can still see clearly, thank you very much. The tanned male let loose a small grin, pocketing the blown kiss before he turned away indifferently.

A surge of warmth entered my system and I hazily relaxed amongst the familiar sounds of bickering between the loving couple and the amused snorts of laughter from Furihata. Sinking back into my bed, a small giggle escapes from my mouth as I shut my eyes and feel the world finally stop spinning dizzily. I had my friends, and that was (should be) more than enough to make up for him.

At the sudden silence, I reopen my eyes to meet the rest of my friends, each sporting different signs of disbelief through gaping mouths, wide eyes, and frozen bodies. I frown.

“Is something wrong?” Had they never heard me laugh before? Was there something wrong for me to be laughing in the middle of the hospital or something? Why are they still staring at me like I grew two heads, multiplied, and proceeded to back flip out the window?

“No, but…” Kise started and exchanged a look with his boyfriend. They began to mentally argue as the blonde gestured towards me with his hand and created weird signs and motions that looked nothing like an actual language. A flashback of sorts floats lazily through my brain of my high school basketball team, and the tall raven who only conversed through hand motions and friendly smiles. I sighed. I miss Seirin.

“Well, Tetsu… You see…” Looks like Aomine lost in their short fight. Not to mention the lost face he sported… Izuki-sempai would be so proud of me right now. “It’s just that you… I mean, you laugh all the time, well not all the time, but this time, you… Uh… Fuck you, Kise! Stop laughing at me!” The tanned male cursed. His boyfriend wiped away a fake tear and winked at his counterpart.

“What time?” I rolled my eyes when the two began releasing sexual tension I’d much rather not be caught in between. The brunette next to me seemed torn between stopping the two from making out in the middle of my hospital room or staying back in the shadows with me.

“Please don’t start having sex on the hospital floor.” They both whip their heads around to face me with matching blushes on their faces.

“We weren’t--”

“Stupid Kise was--” I block their excuses with a polite hand and a sympathetic gleam in my eyes.

“It’s okay. Sometimes I get needs too.” Aomine and Kise nearly choke on their own uvula. “But, that doesn’t mean you can just dirty up the floor. I don’t want nurses coming in here getting the wrong idea.” I bemusedly pointed out. The duo’s faces were stuck between horror, embarrassment, shock, and a tiny bit of interest.

“Tetsuyacchi’s virginity!” Kise wails, banging his fists against the bed while Aomine’s eyes bore into the side of my head. Furihata confusedly looks on; however, I could detect a small bud of interest forming in his mind.

“I haven’t been a virgin for years, Ryouta-kun.” The blonde gasped, placing a hand over his heart like an over dramatic actor who needed to pay rent but didn’t know a thing about acting but they _needed to pay the damn rent_ so they began auditioning to random places to hopefully get a job to pay their rent. Yeah. In my defense, the aftermath of the painkillers were making my brain fuzzy and my thoughts loopy.

“It was just yesterday that Tetsuyacchi was teaching me basketball…”

“It really wasn’t.” I cut in but Kise shushes me.

“And look at him now, all grown up.”

“I am a 26 year old man.”

“Shhh, my child.” The blonde covers my mouth with his finger and weeps.

“Who was your first?” Aomine asked interestedly, ignoring the wails of his lover. We were used to it by now. Furihata opened his mouth to protest about my private life but I beat him to it with a blank look on my face.

“Kagami-kun.”

“WHAT?!” All three of them shriek, and there’s an unreadable expression on Aomine’s face. Kise bangs his fist harder onto the bed while Furihata pales, traumatized. Poor guy.

“It was during training camp and we were both horny.” I admit with a shrug. Furihata pales even more.

“You two.. Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick.” The tanned male fakes a hurl, retching sounds and everything. I frown disgustedly at my friend and jab at Kise’s side when he invades my personal space. I’m pretty sure Furihata is nearly hyperventilating, but I think he’s bordering more towards wanting to jump out of the second story window.

“Please kindly shut up, everyone.” At my announcement, the trio pipe down and refuse to stare at me (other than Kise, whose eyes were filled with unshed, betrayed tears). “Anyway, Daiki-kun. You were eloquently telling me about how I changed?”

“Uh…”

“I-I think what he was trying to say, was that, uh..” Furihata faltered at everyone’s attention on him and I motioned with my hand for him to go on. He swallowed. “You’re kind of, well… Glowing.” My eyebrows rose a little from the familiar words of the nurse. _You’re practically glowing!_

“What do you mean?” Did that mean my weak presence faded away? Or was this some kind of elaborate flattery to make me feel better?

“Well…” The brunette inhaled deeply. “I don’t really know, to be honest. It’s like the aura around you changed. Like you used to have this mysterious aura? Or well you didn’t really have one… Like a phantom, you know?” I stare at him blankly. The other male immediately puts up his hands in a defensive way. “T-that’s just what I see!”

“Furicchi is right. You were expressive back then after the Winter Cup and…Yeah! You were more expressive back then but then uh, things changed and you’ve been really closed up ever since. It kind of reminded us of back in the first year of high school, when you shut everyone out.” Kise skirted around the areas of Akashi and me getting together and the whole “Akashi becoming cold and distant” thing that led me to relive my depression and further worsen it, which then possibly upped the chance of me contracting cancer. Great.

“So, what you’re saying is…” I glance down at my hands. They didn’t look glowy to me. “I’m not as closed up and defensive as before?” At their collective nods, I hum thoughtfully. Still didn’t really explain the whole “I’m glowing” part. It’s not like I was special or anything.

“We’re glad you’re back, Tetsuyacchi!” Kise smiles brightly at me and snuggles into my side. And he wonders why I compare him to a pet.

“Thanks, everyone.” A small upturn of lips grows bigger on my face and I glance at each of them individually. For some reason, that triggers a red hue to spread across each of their cheeks. Okay?

Before anyone else can comment or blurt out their feelings, a sharp knock on the door breaks the peaceful atmosphere as the door slides open. I hide an amused grin from the newcomer behind a cough and a hand covering my mouth. The others, however, aren’t faring any better. Kise and Aomine begin guffawing uncontrollably and Furihata’s soft laughter joins in soon after. The brunette manages to erupt into boisterous chortles eventually, until he’s hiccuping badly.

“Midorima-kun.” I cough again. “It’s nice to see you. You’ve changed a bit from the last time I saw you.” I can’t stop the giggles after I talk and I muffle them behind my hand as I turn my shaking body away.

“Did the lucky items finally take over you, Midorima?!” Aomine asked between heavy gasps and barely controlled guffaws. Kise is practically dying on the floor, sprawled out like a starfish.

“Oh my god.” Furihata hiccups, small laughter alternating between his hiccups. I clear my throat professionally, eyeing the other fuming male standing at the door frame in all his… Creative glory. Midorima Shintarou crossed his arms with a huff, further irritating the costume consuming his body. He was wearing a bright highlighter yellow banana costume with a big navy blue sticker that read “Chiquita” on it in English (Spanish?). His long legs were clad in black flared out mom jeans and his crossed arms were covered in a matching black long sleeved shirt. To top it all off, his truthful hips were accented with the gaudy pink tutu wrapped around him. I silently wondered how security let him in.

“That outfit looks… It looks dubious.” I try to compliment. Midorima glares at me as he walks into the room. But not before nearly tripping over his costume, for the tip of the banana caught onto the door frame and caused him to stumble. Kise wasn’t even breathing anymore. Aomine started up another round of boisterous laughter as Furihata’s hiccups and giggles grew insistent. Between the trio making commotion and a mortified Midorima having to crouch down to enter my room, I was videotaping the whole thing.

“Kuroko!” The banana man screeched, frowning deeply at my pulled out device. “Didn’t they take away your phone?!”

“Yes. But they didn’t take away Furihata-kun’s phone.” I responded with ease, stopping the video tape and sending it to my own phone, as well as everyone else in Furihata’s contacts. I made sure to steer clear from Akashi’s phone number, which I bitterly noted that his name had a bunch of heart emojis. We were made a fool.

“You! Delete that video this instant!” Midorima demanded. My face remained dour.

“But I already sent it to everyone Furihata knew.”

“No...” The brunette whispered between hiccups and giggles.

“Kuroko!” The green haired male yelped loudly and I quietly snorted. Because a man in a banana suit was _so_ intimidating.

“Sorry.” I apologized. I kind of felt sorry for the man. Poor Midorima was just trying to be himself with his lucky items and his weird green hair. He’d probably be made fun of for the rest of his life. I’ve shattered the man.

“It’s okay.” Midorima’s stern, angry voice softened and he stared at me with an unreadable gleam in his eyes. “I brought you this.” The tallest male shimmied out of the pink tutu and handed it to me.

“Wow. I’m speechless.”

“It’s your lucky item for today! You’re ranked the lowest and I just so happened to have this on me.” I smiled mirthfully at my friend and delicately held the pink tutu.

“Thank you, Midorima.” He blushed and looked away with his arms crossed. I giggled at the image and stared fondly at the pink tutu. “It means a lot to me, you know.”

“Whatever.” I knew that just meant Midorima was too embarrassed to say anything back and that he really did care. Grinning, I placed the tutu to the side of my bed. Kise and Aomine had quieted down, but would occasionally chortle at Midorima. Furihata was receiving many messages and calls, so he stepped out to pick them up. I fiddled with the blanket as Midorima walked over until his tall yellow figure loomed over me.

“Hello, Midorima.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Nurse gave me painkillers about an hour ago.” I shrugged. “I’m just a little tired, nothing too painful.” _Liar_.

“I meant after the whole thing with Akashi.” _Oh._

“I don’t really know how to feel.” _Other than pain. Misery. Maybe a little bit suicidal._

“...He called and said he was coming here to see you.” I froze at his words like a bucket of icy water was thrown over my head. It was too soon. I didn’t want to see that man right now, not after my indecisiveness and the words still fresh in the back of my mind. _I never loved you._ Akashi’s voice mockingly whispered. _Why would I love someone like you? You’re nothing but a waste of space. Useless. No one cares about you._ The voice laughed. I could see the redhead standing before me with a sneer on his face as he spat those venomous words into me. The white walls were beginning to close into me and I could feel, hear, see nothing ahead of me. Only a hateful Akashi stood before me, arms crossed and head turned away because I was simply too ugly, too shameful to be in his presence.

“-ko. Kuroko!” I didn’t realize I was shaking uncontrollably until a warm hand placed itself onto my icy one. I wanted to rip my hand away from the scalding heat, a red fire that resembled Akashi’s hair too much. A scarlet, blood red that was standing in front of me. I briefly wondered if I was hallucinating.

“What is he doing here?” I whisper out, eyes wide at the male hesitating at the doorway. His gaze was cast on the floor, as if he felt shameful and remorseful from the previous day. Kise and Aomine glared daggers at the redhead, both stationed next to the bed like bodyguards. Furihata had arrived a bit earlier that Akashi, and was uncertainly glancing at the both of us at his spot next to me.

“Tetsuya…” He murmured, eyes still on the ground. I flinched at his call of my name as I shrunk back as far as I could from him. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Not now.

“Please leave.” I attempted to sound strong and brave, but all I managed to sound like was a scared little boy. “I don’t want to see you right now.”

“But, Tetsuya!” He finally rose his head and I gasped. Instead of the heterochromatic eyes I was expecting, two red orbs pierced into my soul. My hands hid my gape, but my wide eyes gave away my shock. It was him. It was the Akashi I knew and loved.

“...Sei-kun?” Tears filled my vision, blurring out the figure before me. But, nothing could blur out the crimson hair that stood out, blazing through the air like a breathtaking sunrise. I barely registered getting out of my bed as I stumble my way over to Akashi, his arms wide open as a gentle smile filled my vision. Nothing else mattered. Not even the slight throbbing in my abdomen, like a warning sign ringing through my whole body. Not even the worried shouts from my friends as I tumbled over to my lover. Nothing could stop me from reaching him. In a trance like state, I finally reached him, finally could hold him in my arms again. I would never fail to find my way back to his side, even if it meant abandoning everyone and everything else.

I kept repeating I was over him and that I should move on, find someone less toxic. But akin to a moth drawn to a flame, I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. I couldn’t help but want to be cared for with the same warmth that cradled my cold body gently. I couldn’t help but want to be loved.

“Kuroko, please!” Furihata cried out. His voice was a desperate plea to snap me out of my hallucination, but his attempt was futile. I was already long gone. Just as Akashi’s arms wrapped around me, safe and loving and warm, his body twitched. I confusedly stared up at his eyes, ones that were supposed to be gentle and honest. Instead, one powerful scarlet eye and one smoldering golden met mine with cold indifference. I gasped. The dream was shattered and I realized too late that I just danced into the center of his palm. His lips turned up into a devilish smirk as his hand gripped onto my chin, pulling me up towards his height.

“Tetsu!” Aomine yelped, running over immediately to help me out. However, he froze. I froze. The whole room froze as Akashi’s eyes swept over everyone, eyes briefly softening at the sight of Furihata before landing back on me.

“You’re a fool, Kuroko Tetsuya.” I nearly choked on the familiar voice. It was Akashi’s, but it also wasn’t.

“Let go of him, Akashi!” Kise yelled, stepping up with his boyfriend to inch closer to the redhead. The different colored orbs flashed, and next thing I knew, Kise and Aomine, who were so close to reaching me, were on the ground. He had used his ankle break on them.

“Are you telling _me_ , Akashi Seijuurou, what to do?” He rhetorically asked, scoffing at their fury filled faces. “I don’t understand.” No one answered him. I blanked out and allowed my shell to grow back, shielding me away from the rest of the cruel world.

“Sei….” Furihata murmured. The redhead payed him no mind.

“I don’t understand what you fools see in a weak, pathetic man like Kuroko Tetsuya.” A blow to my shell. A large crack formed against it and my weak heart thumped feebly as another hard punch was dealt to my shell.

“Don’t you dare talk to him like that.” Aomine growled. The redhead continued on his tirade, completely ignoring everyone else as his eyes locked onto mine.

“You’re useless, Tetsuya. A waste of space.” My eyes widened briefly. My thoughts had come true in the merciless form of Bokushi. “I don’t understand what he sees in you.” His eyes did a once over on my body and I trembled more, feeling violated and absolutely dirty. “Well, I see the appeal. But, you’re nothing but a tool to me. To him.”

“Don’t listen to him, Tetsuya!” Kise cried out, carefully trying to edge his way to free me from this nightmarish prison. The blonde yelped when the redhead’s foot met his hand and Aomine snarled, launching himself at Akashi. My eyes widened when the tanned male, nothing but pure muscle and raw talent, slumped to the ground, eyes glazed over.

“No!” I screamed, thrashing around in Akashi’s hold as my hand reached out to Aomine, who was punched so severely in the face that blood spilled out of his mouth. Kise’s eyes were the size of a full moon, unmoving just like Aomine’s body on the ground.

“Bokushi!” Midorima moved forward, an uncharacteristic fury burning in his emerald eyes. I silently begged for him to stay away with my eyes, but his darkened pine ones were determined, a flash of a strong emotion when his orbs met mine. I gasped. The look in his eyes were almost filled with...

“I was merely showing Daiki his place, Shintarou.” The redhead replied boredly before throwing me roughly onto the ground. The stabbing in my stomach intensified, my body screaming in protest at the ruthless treatment. Furihata hurried over to me with water welling up in his brown, naive eyes.

“Come back to me, Kouki.” Akashi cooed, voice full of temptation and unadulterated sin. “You’re not like this pathetic trash.” The redhead continued, his gentle grin that reminded me too much of the other Akashi and too little of this one beaming at the brunette. Furihata gulped, tears streaming down his face as he quickly shook his head.

“N-no…”

“Oh?” Akashi’s eyebrow raised. “You dare defy me?” The brunette gulped again, shivering from the intense tone.

“N-no! Not after you hurt Kuroko!” Furihata firmly stated. I blinked back the incoming wave of tears as Furihata stood his ground and defended me. “E-Everything you’re saying is false! Kuroko is the strongest person I know! And if you don’t see that, then y-you can… You can _fuck off!_ ” If I wasn’t in constant torture, I would have gasped from my friend’s bold words and rare cussing. The brunette almost never cursed. For as long as I knew him, I never heard him curse. Not until now.

“Furihata-kun…” I mutter, water falling down my face as another strike of pain jabs at my stomach. It hurts, more than anything, but I can’t feel it past the empty call of my soul. My heart was gone, already destroyed from the last time Akashi had crushed it.

“Fine.” The redhead snarled. I knew he didn’t like to lose. Even the other Akashi that I knew and cherished hated losing. “You were nothing but a tool, just like Tetsuya, Kouki. You were a good fuck while you lasted.” The brunette gasped. I glared at the monster above me. He could say whatever the fuck he wanted about me, but he crossed the line when he insulted and hurt one of my friends.

“Shut up.” I spat out, feeling something deep inside of me roar with brimming confidence. I knew that he would eventually bend me to his will and snap me into pieces with his words. But at the moment, I couldn’t care less. I would do anything for my friends, even if it meant throwing myself into the shark pit and being torn to shreds. Even if it meant my death.

“Why are you still alive, Tetsuya? You have no merit to the world. You should be dead, like _him_.” The previous confidence fell from his heartless words that slapped me across the face.

“What?” I didn’t want my intuition to be right, but I knew who Akashi meant when he said “him”. The redhead shot a sympathetic look at me, full of fake pity and faker concern. I struggled to sit up, my stomach flaring with another wave of needles in my gut.

“Your “Sei-kun”. Oreshi.” Bokushi snapped the other Akashi’s name. I grit my teeth. “He’s dead. He died because of _you_.” Looking up in horror at the smirking redhead, my eyes scanned his to try to find a lie, any lie. I found none.

“No… No. No no no no no no no….” I chanted like a mantra under my breath.

“He let me take over.” _No._ “He didn’t want to see your worthless face.” _No…_ “You reminded him so much of his weak self that he gave up...” _NO!_ “So he could allow me to take over.” He stated. “Permanently.”

“I-I-I--” No words could explain how I felt. I tumbled down from my attempt at rising up, to stare at him at a level ground. But, he was right. I was nothing but a tool. Even back when I was playing basketball, I remained nothing but a tool to be used for his gain, for my friends’ gain. And now that I don’t have basketball or anything to show my worth to the world, I am nothing but a waste of space. My shell dissolved, long broken as I crumbled like dirt to the hospital floor.

“Learn your place, Kuroko. You are as dead to me as your precious Oreshi is.” The redhead stated as a fact, with no emotion whatsoever in his voice. And with an elegant spin with his heel, he left the hospital room, leaving behind the effects of a destructive earthquake. I sunk down all the way to the floor, a flood of water messily spilling out of my eyes and landing on the dirty ground. I was on my side, curled up in a feeble ball as the pain vigorously struck at my stomach and the feeling that it was completely full, like a huge ball of gas inflated in my stomach.

“Kuroko, are you okay?!” Midorima demanded, glasses askewed as he knelt down to my level. I groaned in reply. It was really gross, but I felt like I desperately needed to empty my bowels.

“My stomach… Take me to the bathroom.” _Before I explode._ Midorima nodded and gingerly picked me up, taking care to not touch any specifically painful places. Kise cradled his boyfriend in his arms, carefully nursing the swollen cheek with a small bag of ice Furihata found.

“I’m sorry, Kuroko.” The green haired male said with remorse. I tiredly shrugged my shoulders and smiled weakly up at him.

“It’s not your fault, Midorima-kun. If anything, you’ve helped me a lot with my cancer.” I reassure him as he sets me down onto the toilet. Clearing his throat, scarlet washes over his face as he hovers over me.

“Do you need my help or…?” I breathlessly laugh, a cough ending my painful chortle. Shaking my head, I begin lifting up my hospital gown. Midorima’s blush grows to his ears, like ripe apple blossoms curling around the sensitive outer shell.

“If I need anything, I’ll call for you.” I promise him. “Now, if you could please leave. I don’t think you’re as comfortable as I am with this whole thing.” I point out, using my head to groggily gesture towards the door.

“Right.” He hastily makes his retreat and closes the door behind him as he leaves. Giggling slightly, I plop down onto the toilet, my stomach growling and rearing its ugly head against my body. Moaning, my laughter cuts short as I begin to relieve myself.

After the long bathroom break, I flush the toilet and grimace. Standing up again proved to more than a pain as my stomach gurgled and moaned. Pain shoots up from my lower abdomen to the top, until my whole system is twisting in agony. I feel like puking this time as I think back to what just happened. None of the previous moments would ever be erased from my mind. His eyes would never cease to plague my thoughts. And I fucking hated it. I hated how much leverage he still held over me.

I stumbled over to the sink and mirror to wash my sullied hands. I felt dirty. More than just having my stomach release waste. I am dirty. And as I stared up at my face dully, a disgustingly sickly pale face gazed back at me. I am revolting. If I wasn’t a phantom before, I sure as hell was now. There was absolutely no color in my cheeks and the blue in my eyes were absorbed up by all the energy I had expelled when moving from the bed and facing off my ex. The usual sky blue faded away until nothing but gray, much like the colorless television in the past, orbs tiredly drooped. The only color was an ugly, deformed apple red hue settling underneath my puffy eyes from all the pathetic crying. Sweat beaded against the start of my bangs, dripping down slowly like soiled rain water. I could barely comprehend the blows to my stomach as more tears flooded from my emotionless orbs and I sank to the ground, utterly defeated. I hate myself so damn much.

“I hate this.” I whisper aloud to the ghosts of the hospital. Sinking back into the shadows where I belonged, I curled up in a ball on the deathly ground. It felt almost peaceful, the way the cold bathroom floor caressed my flushed face. A cough racked against my skeleton corpse as liquid trickled from my parted, wheezing lips. And for the first time since I’ve learned about my cancer, about my cheating boyfriend, I cradled the serenity in my leftover heart and accepted the terms of my death. I did not want to go through chemotherapy. All I wanted, desired and itched for, was for the clutches of eternal sleep to finally pull out my soul and lay me delicately into the earth. I am so tired.

My eyes fluttering shut, a wistful smile playing on my lips. Akashi was absolutely right. I did not have to breath on this earth anymore. My work was done. I could become a beautiful star in the sky, finally revealing myself and being noticed in return. People would wish on me, and I would grant their small wishes as a distant constellation.

I would be useful once again.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Midorima sighed, slumping his back on the bathroom door before striding towards his friend’s hospital room to check up on his other friends. Kise’s forehead touched against his boyfriend’s delicately, and the green haired doctor felt like he was treading into intimate, secret territory. Clearing his throat and glancing away, his emerald eyes noticed Kuroko’s friend, Furihata, sitting on Kuroko’s bed with tired shoulders and his hands hiding away his face, no doubt to cry away the pain from Akashi’s words. The greenhead felt irritation run through his veins, etching against his skin like tattoos of remembrance to symbolize his burning anger.

“Kise.” He spoke gently, kneeling at the blonde’s height. Kise, in turn, slowly rose his head up, his usual bubbly, mischief filled eyes replaced with despair, sorrow, and traces of fury.

“Midorima.” The male greeted, his teeth grinding together from his repressed worry and built up rage.

“How is he?”

“Knocked unconscious. His cheek is swollen from Akashi’s punch. I think he may have lost a tooth.” The blonde responded, trailing his finger against the dark skin as if his feather light touches would remove all the pain his boyfriend ever felt.

“I see. I’ll check on him right now and when he wakes up.” Midorima fixed his glasses, pushing them up as he scooted closer to the blonde, who leaned back on his hands for better access. The doctor gingerly pried open Aomine’s mouth, noting the slight wince from the fainted patient. His jaw didn’t seem to be broken, however, a growing bruise was planted firmly on the jaw. Aomine also lost a tooth, which was on the ground near the hospital bed.

Kise swept his hand through his boyfriend’s midnight hair, reminding him tenderly of the chilly winter night when Aomine held him close and confessed his deep feelings for him. The stars twinkled knowingly above, lighting the moonless night with its glimmer from the dark sky, resembling Aomine’s starlit hair. The blonde sighed, blinking back the tears glistening across golden spun eyes and just as golden hair.

“He’ll be okay, right?” Kise whispered, fondly combing through the countless tangles in his lover’s hair. Midorima nodded, standing up on his feet.

“Just a little bruising from Akashi’s punch and the fall. Otherwise, he’s okay.”

“...Thank you, Midorima. No, Shintarou.” Kise sniffled weakly, tears gathering around his sunny eyelashes and clung on them like the morning dew. An image of the sun’s rays lighting up the earth in the morning, and reflecting on the spring fields flashed through Midorima’s eyes at the sight of his trembling friend. He sighed, pushing up his glasses.

“Anytime… Ryouta.” Turning away, the doctor ignored the clenching of his heart at the blonde’s attempt of holding back his tears. The green haired male paced over to Furihata, a frown on his face. _What happened to you, Akashi? What are you doing? And why are you acting like this? Why did you let Bokushi take over?_

“O-Oh, Midorima.” The brunette bowed out of respect, but mostly to hide his red, teary eyes. The green haired grunted in response, kneeling on the ground to search for any injuries. Furihata quickly brushed away the last of the water on his face and attempted a smile.

“Are you okay?” Midorima asked. Furihata’s eyes widened at the gentle tone, not expecting such a soothing voice to come from the hard faced doctor. The green haired male resisted the urge to roll his eyes and scoff. He could be tender when he needed to, after all. But no one seemed to noticed.  _Except for him._

“Y-yeah.” The brunette stuttered, blinking away another wave of fresh tears. “Where’s Kuroko?”

“In the bathroom.”

“Oh.” A thick silence passed over the two. They weren’t familiar with each other, but they could connect with each other through their dying friend. They both cared deeply for the shadow, knowing about Kuroko’s insecurities and hidden emotions. Midorima cared for Kuroko, his best friend that helped him in his dark times while Furihata respected the blue haired male’s strength and loyalty. Kuroko Tetsuya meant so much to the both of them, and they refused to allow their best friend to fall to the depths of his depression.

“I’ll go check up on him.” Midorima announced suddenly, and the brunette jumped at the noise. The green haired doctor stood up, facing the bathroom.

“Okay.” Furihata softly replied, eyes wandering back down to the white floors.

“And Furihata?”

“Y-yes?”

“Hang in there. Akashi knows the right words to break someone. Don’t let him have the satisfaction of breaking you.” Midorima stated, pushing up his glasses once more. Furihata stared up at him in awe, wide caramel eyes full of shock.

“Yes!” The brunette replied, grateful for the comforting and spirit raising words. Midorima nodded curtly at him before making his way to the bathroom door. When his back was turned, Furihata slapped his cheeks with both of his hands, confidence flashing through his puppy like eyes. “I can do this!” _For Kuroko! I have to be strong for him!_

Meanwhile, the bespectacled male knocked on the bathroom door. When he received no reply, the male frowned, leaning his ear towards the door. Silence. It was very quiet inside of the bathroom. No sounds of water rushing or pained grunts (as gross as it sounded, but Midorima was a doctor after all). His frown melted into a worried grimace as he knocked again, louder and harder this time. Nothing.

“Kuroko? Are you okay?” He shouted through the door, his adrenaline pumping up as he jiggled the doorknob until the wooden door swung upon. He nearly gasped, but held himself together. Now was not the time to be freaking out. Kuroko lay on the ground, motionless and curled up in a feeble ball.

“Fuck!” Midorima cursed, throwing himself down in front of one of his best friends as he carefully held him up in his arms. “Kuroko, can you hear me?” He calmly questioned, eyes wildly tracing for any signs of movement, any signs of life.

“Midorima?” The blonde’s voice called from inside the hospital room. The green haired doctor placed two fingers next to Kuroko’s pulse on his neck, and sighed in relief at the fluttering beat of his heart. He fell apart on the ground, desperately embracing his friend as a small gasp left his mouth. Water drowned out his eyesight, and Midorima tenderly ran a finger across his friend’s pale cheek. He was relieved. So damn relieved that his best friend didn’t end up passing away without a goodbye. There was so many things the green haired male wanted to say, so much gratitude and thanks that were yet to be spoken. The doctor’s tough shell cracked, and he pressed a quivering kiss against the blue moonlight strands.

The green haired male wanted to spill out all his feelings he kept in a tight drawer of his heart, but he found he didn’t have the strength to utter another word. He wanted nothing more than to confess his strong feelings towards Kuroko Tetsuya. He wanted to admit that the shadow’s blue hair and matching eyes reminded him of the times he would play piano, the instrument next to a large window that showcased the bright blue sky while the long white curtains would dance gently with the wind. He would be reminded of walking along the raining pavement, younger sister with her pink bunny umbrella in tow, where everything was blue, blue, and even more blue, like the color was shadowed across the world.

And more than anything, he was reminded of the sunny times in Teikou, when the generation of miracles would gather around a convenience store with matching pale blue popsicles in hand. He missed those times. He missed the familiarity of his middle school days, before he and the rest of the generation of miracles changed. And he would never admit it, but he loved the blue in those shut eyes.

“Midorima? Is everything okay in there? Is Tetsuya okay?!” Kise shouted, distress clear in his voice. The green haired male's train of thought burst and he securely balanced his thin friend in his arms. Wandering out of the bathroom, the doctor ignored the sharp gasp from Kise and Furihata as he lay Kuroko on the bed, the brunette scrambling out of the way.

“Is Kuroko okay?!” The blonde exclaimed, placing his jacket under his slumbering boyfriend’s head before heading over to the bed as fast as he could. Furihata trembled, eyes locked onto the rise and fall of his friend’s form.

“He’s fine. He just passed out in the bathroom.” Midorima replied. He lingered by the bedpost, face set back to stone and tears disappearing like dust in the wind.

“Thank God.” Kise breathed out, crouching on his knees by the bedside to gaze fondly at his best friend. Kuroko didn’t stir when the blonde ran a quick hand through his hair, patting at the base of his head. The blue haired male softly mumbled something, a deep furrow between his eyebrows as his body formed into a tight ball once more. It was like he was protecting himself from the world. Midorima cleared his throat.

“I need to get back to work. My break time is long over by now.” He explained, casting one last longing glance at his former team mate. Furihata nodded and pulled a chair over by Kuroko’s side to watch him.

“Wait! What about Daiki?” Kise demanded, gesturing at his boyfriend who still slept, completely unaware of the living. Midorima crossed his arms and huffed.

“There’s a room across from this one that’s empty. You can let him rest in there for now. When he wakes up, send a nurse to find me and I’ll check up on him.” Kise grinned, a small grin, but an upturn of his lips nonetheless.

“Thanks, Shin.” The doctor scoffed at the nickname (which an image of a grinning raven helpfully flashed through his brain), padding out of the room. At the doorway, he paused, back still turned to them.

“Take care of him.” Midorima added before walking out abruptly, leaving behind Kise and Furihata with stunned expressions.

“Of course…” Kise’s voice whispered across the empty, quiet room and filtered out the door, left untouched and unheard by the other.

As Midorima strode away from the room, head high and seriousness settling back into his system, he turned back to his responsibilities. But not before changing out of the ridiculous costume.

“Dr. Midorima!” A familiar voice from an old doctor called out as he quickly walked over to the now changed doctor. Midorima respectfully nodded at the other, stopping in his path for the other to catch up. Slightly out of breath, the other doctor smiled.

“Dr. Ogiwara.” He greeted

“I’m too old to be running.” Ogiwara joked, grinning at his own joke. Midorima merely blinked with a stoic face. The older doctor’s smile melted into a serious frown as he stood up straighter. “Did you just visit Kuroko?”

“Yes.” Midorima answered, a bit alarmed at the other’s deep frown and sad eyes. “Why?”

“The poor boy. Only a few weeks to live and everything. He’s such a great boy. You know he knows my grandson?”

“And your point is?” The green haired male asked impatiently. Ogiwara sighed.

“He has familial adenomatous polyposis or FAP.” Midorima wracked his brain at the familiar word until he finally found his answer. His eyes widened.

“His family had a past of colorectal cancer?!” _And he didn’t tell me?!_

“On his father’s side. Apparently his grandfather had the cancer and wasn’t able to fight through it.” A bitter smile. “He was in this same hospital as well. What a coincidence, huh?” Normally, Midorima would have responded with a quick, “there’s no such thing as coincidences”, but his brain short circuited and his mind began reeling at the new information.

“The only difference is, Kuroko’s grandfather treated FAP way earlier than Kuroko Tetsuya. Kuroko’s FAP has been untreated for a while now. About almost two years.”

“What?!” Midorima exclaimed. He was bewildered. How didn’t he suspect anything? About two years ago was when Kuroko’s depression worsened even more, which was about the time when Akashi changed. And it was only about a year ago when Akashi began cheating on Kuroko. Things were starting to make more sense and the puzzle pieces were forming into a complete puzzle.

“Poor boy. He has so much to live for, but at this rate, he won’t be able to last the whole month.” Midorima froze, horror written on his face.

“But, why?” He found himself asking past the shock. It was like gravity turned up and was threatening to blow up his brain. Midorima didn’t realize he was shaking until his real lucky item, a blue pen, clattered onto the ground. Ogiwara ignored the pitiful sight and sadly regarded the usually strict and stoic doctor before him. The poor man looked like he was about to fall apart with one touch. Nonetheless, he pressed on, sighing.

“The patient has been neglecting meals. And when he does eat, he ends up throwing it all up. Not only that, but he has been inactive for a while now. He needs to do more exercise but he refuses to do that as well. Also…” Ogiwara really didn’t want to drop the bomb on the younger male like this, but it was better if someone close to Kuroko knew.

“Also... His drug intake is abnormally high.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

 

When Daiki thrashed awake, sitting up right away and eyes dark with worry, Ryouta immediately latched onto him, jumping on the taller male and clutching onto him like a koala.

“..Ryou?” The blonde sobbed at his name being caressed gently from his lover’s mouth. The blonde’s relief skyrocketed as his lover accepted his tight embrace and held him securely in his strong arms.

“I was so worried!” Ryouta wailed, his whole body shaking from his muffled cries in the other’s shirt. Daiki patted his back, soothingly trailing his hands along the back of his boyfriend. Ryouta melted like putty in his hands, tears dying down as Daiki continued to stroke his lover’s sensitive spots on his back. Sniffing, Ryouta’s eyes met the beautiful indigo orbs, that gazed lovingly at him, one hand stroking down his back and creating shivers, while the other cupped his face.

“Ryouta. It’s okay. I’m okay.” The tanned male reassured, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind the other’s ear. Ryouta blinked away his tears, slowly nodding as he lay his head back on the durable chest of his boyfriend. The beating of his heart calmed down the blonde as a dark hand played with his hair. The couple relished in the peaceful air, both comfortable and warm in each others’ arms. Ryouta sighed.

“Akashi is gone.” Daiki tensed under him, hand halting in its comforting actions. A low growl rumbled through his throat.

“That bastard.” Ryouta silently nodded to his words, bitterness boiling in his core. “How’s Tetsu?”

“He’s sleeping right now.” The blonde muttered, closing his eyes. “Akashi said some really bad things to him, though.” He reopened his eyes, flaming phoenix hues coloring his orbs. He narrowed his eyes, fisting up his boyfriend’s shirt in swelling wrath. He was absolutely livid. And judging by his boyfriend’s dangerous and snarling aura, so was Daiki.

“Poor Tetsu. Akashi will pay for hurting him.” The taller male murmured in Ryouta’s ear, hot breath fanning across the blonde’s ear. He shivered, both in delight at the shared emotions with his lover and in slight fear from his boyfriend’s wild tone. He sounded like he was in the zone, and if Ryouta were to look up, he was certain the dark godlike flash in the tanned male’s eyes would be present.

“God, I love you.” Ryouta suddenly blurted out, pushing himself up from the addicting warmth of Daiki’s chest and grinning down at his boyfriend. Daiki’s skin may be dark, but it wasn’t hard to tell when he was blushing, especially with how long they've been dating. The blonde smirked, kissing his hot, smoking boyfriend with dangerous vigor. Daiki groaned, prompting a larger smirk from Ryouta, who nibbled at the other’s chapped lips.

“Dammit… Ryouta, we’re in a hospital.” Not that Daiki was complaining.

“I know.” Ryouta flashed a cheeky grin at the other and planted a loving kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips. “Just had a sudden urge to kiss you.”

“God, you’re so fucking embarrassing.” Daiki muttered, eyes on anything but his triumphant lover. Ryouta chuckled, cupping the male’s face tenderly.

“You’re just easily embarrassed, sweetheart.” The taller male wrinkled his nose at the nickname.

“Don’t call me that.”

“But, sweetie!” Ryouta whined, inwardly laughing at his boyfriend’s darkening skin. Nuzzling his nose against the other’s nose, the blonde hummed low in his throat. “We should check up on Tetusuyacchi. I’m sure you’re worried about him.” Daiki grunted as Ryouta untangled himself from his grumpy lover and blew a kiss at him.

“Hey, Ryou.” The taller male suddenly said, seriousness written all over his face. Ryouta hummed, opening the door. “Buy me a burger.” The blonde rolled his eyes, but complied with the other’s wishes.

“Usual meal with a large Pepsi?”

“Yeah, that one.” Daiki yawned, contemplating on whether or not to sneak another few moments of sleep. Ryouta glared at him, reading his mind easily.

“Don’t think about it, Daikicchi.”

“Ugh, fine. But, we’re visiting Akashi after this.” The tanned male grinned darkly, eyes full blown with excitement at the prospect of a fight and exacting his revenge. More shivers assaulted the blonde’s body at the thrilling tone and face of his lover’s.

“Of course, dear.”

“Stop calling me that!” Ryouta snickered at his almost better half, going off to fetch the burger for his gluttonous boyfriend. Daiki sighed when the blonde left, scratching the back of his head before making the short distance between the room he slept in to his friend’s room right across. Tetsu’s name was plastered on a white sign next to the door, indicating that it was the correct room. The dark blue eyed male knocked on the door, showing his presence, before cautiously opening the door. Inside, two males sat by a barely awake male, who quietly chatted with the taller one, a small, humble smile playing on his lips.

“Ah, Mine-chin.”

“Hello, Daiki-kun.”

“A-aomine!” The three each greeted in their own way. Daiki settled with a lazy wave as he closed the door gently behind him. He strode over to his best friend, examining the other’s body.

“I’m fine, Daiki-kun.” Tetsuya breathed sleepily, eyelids fluttering like a butterfly trying to free itself from a spider’s delicate web. The tanned male crossed his arms in disbelief, grunting grumpily at his stubborn best friend. Only Tetsu would be able to manage a grin while going through utter hell.

“Why are you awake?” He demanded, eyebrows knitting together. Tetsu merely giggled tiredly, rolling his ice blue eyes.

“I slept for an hour, Dai-okaa-san.” Murasakibara, the turd, snorts. The brunette--Furihaha or something?--masks his giggles with a sharp cough that causes him to cough even more. Daiki snorts this time, reverting his attention back to his sickly shadow.

“Did you tell him about what happened?” He asks, jutting his chin towards the tallest member of the group, who’s trying to feed Tetsuya a chip. Tetsuya shakes his head at Murasakibara’s outstretched hand with the snack, clamping his lips together.

“Tet-chin needs to eat more.” Daiki remained unfazed. However, he wondered about the weird nickname. Looks like the two were on pretty good terms, he admitted grumpily to himself.

“Atsushi-kun, I don’t want anymore.” Murasakibara actually pouts, grumbling under his breath as his large hand scoops up another few chips and stuffs it into his mouth.

“So?” Daiki impatiently questions, staring directly at his shadow. Tetsuya bobs his head up and down, turning his head afterwards to ask this “Furihata” (so that’s what his name is) for a glass of water, which prompted the brunette to jump up and quickly fetch the glass of water by the bathroom.

“And yes, I already told Muras-Atsushi-kun about the incident that just occurred.”

“Perfect.” Daiki grinned maliciously, locking eyes with his lazy former team mate. Murasakibara may seem like a bored and lazy child, but beneath all those layers, a feral monster roared threateningly. Akashi had awoken the demons within each of the former generation of miracles for hurting their best friend for so long. Shit was about to go down and Akashi was going to pay the consequences for his disgusting and vicious actions and behaviors.

Tetsu rose a thin eyebrow at them, handing back his water cup to Furihata after he gulped down the whole thing. “You’re going to visit Akashi.” It wasn’t a question.

“It’ll just be a friendly talk, Tetsu. Don’t worry about it.” Daiki waved his friend’s concerns away as the door opened, announcing the presence of his flamboyant boyfriend.

“--you know how long it took for me to get this stupid burger, Daikicchi? And the fangirls.” Ryouta shudders, throwing the bag of calories and fats recklessly at his dumb lover. He should be grateful the model didn’t just throw away that bag drenched in oil in the trash where it belongs.

“Ryouta.” Tetsu stated, steel eyes firm and untouchable. “You’re going to Akashi’s house.” The blonde shuddered at the dark tone. He gulped nervously, mouthing “help” towards his other former teammates, who abandoned him in favor of eating. Ryouta sighed. He figured Tetsuya would be too smart and observant for them to hide this from him anyway.

“Yeah, we are.” The bedridden patient frowned, but otherwise kept his mouth shut. After a few minutes, he sighed exhaustedly, rubbing his temples with his hand.

“Just… Just stay safe, okay?” Tetsuya finally said, placing a hand on top of Murasakibara’s larger one, which was resting next to the smaller male’s thin body. The giant nodded as he munched on an umaibo stick.

“Tetsu…”

“Tetsuyacchi…” Ryouta began to wail loudly as he threw himself onto Tetsuya’s bed, carefully maneuvering his arms so as to not accidentally hit his friend with them (again). Daiki rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s childish antics, feeling slightly envious at how Tetsu didn’t push him away yet. Instead, the cotton blue haired male softly giggled, using his other hand (the one that wasn’t holding onto Murasakibara’s) to pet Ryouta’s hair.

“I worry about you all, just like how you worry about me.” He gently admitted, gazing at each of the former generation of miracles and Furihata’s eyes tenderly. His clear eyes fondly smiling at each of them.

“....Tet-chin is cute.” Ryouta and Daiki subconsciously nodded while Furihata blushed, glancing away. Murasakibara forgot about his thoughts of possibly hugging “Tet-chin” after eating another few bags of assorted chips. Daiki cleared his throat.

“We should be going now, Tetsu. Take care and all that jazz.” The tanned male rubbed the back of his head, unsure of what else to say. He wasn’t exactly the most gentle person. Ryouta beamed at his smaller friend, nuzzling into Tetsuya’s neck and breathing in the familiar lavender and vanilla scent that mingled in with the hospital.

“Bye, Tetsuyacchi! We’ll see you later!” The blonde pursed his lips like a fish and did a bunch of kissy faces at the slightly disgusted and bemused patient. “Don’t miss me too much!”

“I won’t. Bye.”

“Mean!”

“Let’s go, idiot.”

“Bye bye, Tet-chin.”

“Ignored!”

“Ah! Visiting hours is almost over! I’ll see you later too, Kuroko! Next time I’ll bring Fukuda and Kawahara to visit! I’ll try to get Seirin to come too... “

“Why is everyone so mean to me?!”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Akashi! Open your fucking door before I kick it down, you bastard!” Aomine yelled, banging on the door all the while. Midorima fixed his glasses while glaring at the loud male. Murasakibara stood on the side, lazily scanning the area for any other threats, such as bodyguards. Kise’s arms were crossed as he remained silent, an unusual thing for many other people, but his true nature was starting to come forth.

“Do you really need to make a scene, you imbecile?” Midorima finally snapped, agitatedly switching his pen on and off. God, he really hated these people sometimes. It was a wonder he managed to be on the same basketball team as them for three years.

“Does it look like I give a fuck? Akashi better get his ass out here right now before I break his fucking door down.” Aomine seethed, continuously banging on the door. Luckily, the house Akashi chose to stay in was a rather secluded area, with only a few houses (probably full of businessmen anyway) littering across the private area. And even luckier, no one else seemed to be home since there was a lack of yelling and threats of calling the police.

“Maybe Aka-chin isn’t home.” Murasakibara piped up from his calm stance on the side of the porch. Oddly enough, his snacks were nowhere to be seen and his jaw was clenched tightly, despite the chill demeanor painted on his face.

“His car is home so he’s probably ignoring us.” Kise grit out, the first words from his mouth since they arrived. Aomine’s eyes narrowed further at the thought, and he stepped back from the door, bracing his shoulders.

“Aomine--” Midorima’s eyes grew bigger as he realized what the ace was about to do. Just before he could yell some sense (or possibly beat) into the impatient male, the door swung open, ominously. From the inside of the house, two glowing orbs illuminated from the darkness.

“Daiki.” Their former captain greeted, eyes boring into the rest of the generation of miracles. “Shintarou, Atsushi, Ryouta. Come in.” The gleaming eyes disappeared. Midorima gulped, his senses screaming danger. And judging by the hesitance in the other’s eyes, he wasn’t the only one.

As they stepped inside what could possibly be their final moments, the lights flickered on, haloing on top of fire itself, sitting in his throne like a true emperor. His eyes were blank as he rest his chin on a fist.

“Akashi, you probably know why we’re here.” The redhead’s eyes settled on top of the brave (or maybe stupid?) tanned male, who stomped over to the emperor. Aomine’s orbs were transformed into one of a beast’s while his raging fists were barely kept at his side. Kise stepped up as well, trailing after his boyfriend with careful, calculating eyes.

“You’re here to “talk” about Tetsuya.” Akashi replied with ease, keeping eye contact with the fuming ace. He chuckled lowly, uncrossing his legs to switch legs. Aomine twitched at the light sound, coils of fury swirling murderously around his tense body. Midorima observed Akashi sitting primly on his throne while Murasakibara’s eyes wandered around the room; shadows danced across the room mysteriously.

“Damn straight. What the fuck happened to you, Akashi? Why did you let _him_ take over you?”

“He was too weak. That annoying pest is finally rid of, after what happened with his-no, my father.”

“What?”

“It’s simple, really. Even incompetent, grammatically incorrect people like you would understand, Daiki. His father exerted too much pressure on Oreshi, which led him to become distant to Tetsuya. Furthermore, Oreshi became more insecure. He suspected Tetsuya was cheating on him, which led him further into his disgraceful descent. And finally, while his heart grew weaker and he became a pathetic creature, I took over control.” Akashi simply explained, uncrossing his legs once more to stand up to his full height. Aomine may have towered over Akashi in height, but their two power levels were completely different. The taller male held power in his body, that much was true. However, Bokushi’s intimidation and surging power overshadowed Aomine’s and the rest of the generation of miracle’s levels combined.

“You monster!” Kise screeched from his position when Aomine crumbled to the ground. It was quick. One minute the taller male was facing off Akashi and when Kise blinked, he despairingly saw his boyfriend on the ground. The redhead’s eyes flashed menacingly.

“Akashi…” Midorima muttered, pity welling up in his heart. He (and perhaps Kuroko as well) only knew about the real reason why Bokushi maintained control over Akashi’s body. It had little to do with insecurity and “weakness” of the heart and more to do with Kuroko Tetsuya. Kuroko meant the universe to Akashi, and even when Bokushi denied loving the pale blue haired male, deep within his heart (the one shared with the other Akashi), it contained a small inkling of adoration and love towards his ex boyfriend. But, due to Kuroko’s sudden announcement of plausible death, Oreshi didn’t want to become even more hurt, so he thrust out a just as insecure Bokushi. They both loved Kuroko Tetsuya dearly, but they didn’t want to become hurt even more. Not after his mother’s death. So, to Bokushi, the only way to avoid being injured mentally, was to shut out Kuroko. For good.

“Kise, no!” Aomine screamed, snapping Midorima out of his reverie. He glanced up at a horrified Aomine, who reached out last minute to a tumbling blonde. Kise lay on the ground, knocked out and blood trickling down his face.

“Akashi!” Murasakibara, unspoken until now, yelped out, charging towards the redhead in blind rage. Midorima winced and opened his mouth to stop the incoming train wreck, but it was too late. Murasakibara's eyes were wide as saucers as he experienced deja vu from the ankle break. Nearly kneeling at the emperor’s feet, the purple haired giant felt a cold sweat build up upon his forehead.

“Learn your place, peasants.” Akashi spat out, heterochromatic eyes raging with insanity. Midorima winced, hands balling up into fists around his blue pen. The blueness that reminded him solely of why he was here in the first place.

“Akashi.” He quietly spoke his name, like acid and bile running from his lips. With dark green eyes much like a snake’s, Midorima strode over to Akashi, past his fallen team mates, the conscious ones nearly gaping at him. The green haired doctor faced the redhead, who arched a curious eyebrow at him. Before Akashi could even think to move, Midorima planted a firm hand against Akashi’s cheek. The resounding slap echoed across the silent hall, in which shadows moved in the background to attack.

“WAKE UP, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” He screeched at the stunned redhead. Aomine and Murasakibara wore matching gapes at the curse and action from the usually stoic doctor (he calmed down his temper over the years… But seeing it now brought back bittersweet memories of the past).

“Midorima--” Aomine started, wincing as another loud sound filled the crisp, tense air. Both of the redhead’s cheeks stung with the same color as his hair. Midorima huffed, grabbing Akashi’s collar as he stared deep within the other’s eyes. He could see it. He could see Akashi, cold and alone as a child, a child that knew nothing about his emotions and his heart but everything about the politics and studies he was forced to learn.

“YOU’RE JUST A FUCKING MORON, YOU KNOW? YOU HAVE EVERYTHING. _EVERYTHING._ YOU HAVE THE FAME, THE MONEY, THE GLORY AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU EVER DESIRED IN THE PALM OF YOUR GODDAMN HAND. YOU HAVE A GREAT LIFE AHEAD OF YOU AND SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS THAT YOU KEEP SHUTTING OUT. YOU HAVE SO MUCH MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE COULD EVER DREAM OF!” Midorima shouted, yanking Akashi up to his height so their noses were inches apart. The green haired male’s glowing emerald orbs darkened, now resembling dead moss. “And most importantly…. You have a beautiful man that loves you, even when you rained hell onto him.” Midorima sucked in a deep breath, voice wavering as a single drop of pain raced down his cheek.

_“You have the love of the man that I fell in love with all those years ago.”_

Akashi’s eyes, which held little resentment and fury, widened. For the first time since Midorima first met him, Akashi Seijuurou’s face was morphed into one of shock.

“Mido-chin…” Murasakibara muttered softly and sadly, staring up from his frozen position on the floor. The shadows shifted on the wall, calming down from the attack of the green haired one. Aomine’s midnight orbs were full of dark clouds, which covered the broiling emotions in his heart. Midorima continued, knowing his words were finally reaching Akashi.

“He still loves you, you know. No matter what you say, what you do, he still loves you.” Midorima barked out a bitter laugh. “Even if you beat him to the ground until he was dying, he would still love you.” Midorima finally let loose his unrequited feelings, the pain and sorrow embracing his stiff body. Everything was cold, like an eternal winter storm brewing inside of him.

“Even if I threw my whole body, heart, and soul at Kuroko, he wouldn’t even glance my way because he loves you that fucking much. You know how much that kills me? To have the love of my life staring at someone, someone who’s fucking ungrateful for his love and tosses him aside like a plaything, with such adoration and care?!” Midorima’s words slipped up as a soft sob wracked his body. “I’ll love him forever, but it’s useless. He’s dying now. He only has two weeks left to live before he’s gone forever, taking my heart along with him.”

“Midorima…” Aomine whispered this time, eyes full of sorrow. Akashi remained silent, even as a trickle of water landed on his cheek.

“God, when he smiles at me, full of joy, I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I know, _I know_ he’s going to die and I’ll be left here, all alone. And I understand that when he smiles at me, with adoration for the first fucking time since I fell in love with him, it’s because his time is near and he finally sees how much I care for him. It took him this long to finally know the extent of my love for him, only for it to be useless because he’s going to be gone in less than a month.” Midorima straightened up, releasing his tight grasp on the now wrinkled collar of Akashi’s shirt. He doesn’t wipe away the tears, lingers in the comforting saltiness of the moving ocean from his soul as the green returns to his eyes.

“Don’t make this a choice you’ll regret, Akashi. He’ll be gone before you know it.” He sighs. “I know what you’re doing, and I’m telling you now that it’s stupid. Stop trying to shut us out. Stop trying to shut _him_ out. He deserves peace before his time comes.” Midorima finished, backing away from the redhead for some more space. The other had been silent so far, not even lifting up a finger to show Midorima “his place”.

“W-what have I done?” Akashi whispers out, the golden, flaming orb seething with fury finally melting back into the familiar red. Midorima sighs in relief. His words reached him.

“Aka-chin….”

“Akashi….” Akashi gazes down at his friends, at his injured, beloved friends, one unconscious and the rest with minor scratches and wide eyes and he weeps.

“I-I’m so sorry…” The redhead mumbles through his tears, eyeing them one by one with remorse clear in the scarlet orbs.

“Akashi…If you’re really sorry, you’ll apologize to Kuroko, not us. He’s the one that suffered the most.” Aomine stated, patting his body down as he stood up on wobbly legs. Murasakibara followed suit, walking over to Akashi and placing a gentle hand on his head.

“Aka-chin should apologize if he wants to be forgiven. Tet-chin will forgive you.” The giant advises, ruffling the crimson locks as he smiles down at his former captain. “We already forgive you, Akashi.”

“Yeah. Even though what you’ve done hurt Tetsu, and in turn, hurt us a lot, we forgive you, Akashi.” Aomine said, carrying his boyfriend in his arms. “Even Ryouta will.”

“We’ve worried a lot about you, Akashi, and we care about you. You’re still a dear friend to us.” Midorima smoothly said, calmly picking up his lucky item from the floor when he slapped Akashi awake. A small smile lit up on the redhead’s face as he rubbed away the tears with his hand.

“Thank you.” Akashi mumbled, feeling a small patch of his heart mold together and heal. A tiny itch reminded him of his deeds, however, and a sick feeling bubbled in his stomach. Everything he said to Kuroko and Furihata, kicking down his lover and hurting both the brunette and blue haired male with his words, scrawled on his brain like an irremovable tattoo. Sorrow invaded his system as exhaustion from switching places with his other self settled in. He didn’t know if he could do it. Now that both Akashis felt utterly destroyed and guilty, the sadness and pressure from two years back pressed persistently onto his head. Everything hurt, and he knew that even if Kuroko and Furihata forgave him, he would never be able to forgive himself for the pain inflicted on the both of them. Human lives were to be cherished, after all.

His name was Akashi Seijuurou and he cheated on his boyfriend who had cancer. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akashi will explain why he cheated on Kuroko w/ Furihata next chapter btw !!! Thanks for reading and (hopefully) liking it! If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask away in the comments below! I'll see you next time for the finale!


	3. Starry Eyes and Late Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I would capture every star for you.” Kuroko untangles from him with a roll of his eyes. There’s a tender love in them though, and Akashi feels his breath catch like a butterfly caught in a spider’s web. It was supposed to be the other way around, but the redhead couldn’t think about the specifics when Kuroko suddenly gazes at him with stars in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oH MY GOD. I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. OK WELL HERE'S WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN A LONG TIME:  
> 1) I was lazy and procrastinated  
> 2) I went away to San Antonio for San Japan in the end of July to the beginning of August  
> 3) Idk how to write he lp  
> 4) A lot of stuff has happened?? And my mental health has been failing me tbh
> 
> Still unbeta'd and I also changed up the pov so it's no longer first person who ops and like "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz doesn't belong to me also this chapter is 33 pag es wt f
> 
> ANYWAY. I'M SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS LONG OVERDUE SO I'LL SHUT UP AND LET YOU READ NOW (I love you all)
> 
>    
> PS. I ran out of toilet paper so I have no tissues sorry : (

 

 

 

_“You look lost.” The enchanting voice stated, and Akashi merely smiled secretively, eyes never leaving the book resting in his hands. He set the hardcover down before turning around to engulf his lover in a warm embrace. Wisps of phantom like sky strands tickled against his chin, but he didn’t mind, would never mind as long as the beautiful male in his arms stayed with him forever._

_“I’m not.” He answers swiftly while combing through the soft locks in front of him. A snort is heard from Kuroko’s head pressed against the redhead’s neck. It raises the small hairs on Akashi’s neck and tickles his skin._

_“You may be good at lying, Sei, but I’ve known you for years.” He pauses to untangle himself from his clingy boyfriend, much to the redhead’s displeasure. “Is something wrong? Are you stressed out from being the student council president and the captain of your basketball team?” Kuroko stressed. Akashi smiled down at him, scarlet eyes twinkling fondly. The taller male sighs and pulls his boyfriend with him on top of a bench. Their entwined hands remain a solid structure as the redhead leans over and fits into the crevices between their bodies. He sighs forlornly._

_“Just a little stress, that’s all. Nothing to worry about, love.” He admits freely, gazing at the grass flickering back and forth with the wind. Kuroko’s hand squeezes tighter onto his and it feels so right and domestic that Akashi has to suppress a lovesick sigh._

_“Do you want to talk about it?” The other male asks anyway, but Akashi knows even if he didn’t say anything, his stubborn boyfriend would still manage to pry it out of him._

_“Not really.” His eyes waver over the green stalks before flitting to a small tree. There’s fence all around it, as expected of a rich school like Rakuzan. The redhead smiles bitterly at the trapped tree, reminding him precisely of himself and his current situation. After the defeat of his team by his lover’s, his father had been more strict than usual, first claiming his son as “deader than his own mom” before placing more work and burden on top of the teenager’s shoulders. Balancing school work, student council work, basketball duties, and his father’s assigned burden was finally paying a toll on his body, and his mind was weak with fatigue._

_“It’s about your father, isn’t it?” Kuroko has no tact, but Akashi prefers it that way. He prefers the blunt Kuroko over any other starry eyed fan who carefully tread the waters to appease the redhead. It was quite sickening honestly, to see fake smiles smothered across one’s face, and the forced, loud laughter striking against his ears._

_“I suppose.” He humors the other and chuckles deep within himself knowing that Kuroko is most likely scrunching his eyebrows together in slight irritation. A small jab to his side awards him, and the redhead allows chortles to spill out of his throat. It’s natural, and in the corner of his eye, he peeks over and relishes in the small grin on his boyfriend’s stoic face._

_“Be serious, Sei.” Kuroko admonishes, a hypocritical smile on his face that he was desperately trying to hide from the other with a wave of his hand. Akashi knows though, and Kuroko as well._

_“I am serious. You know I can’t joke.” Kuroko snorts at the statement and leans over to delicately place his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. The thrum in their hearts stir up as silence washes over them. It’s comfortable and warm and they wouldn’t have it any other way._

_The scene changes, and Akashi is lying down on the soft grass next to a river with his loving boyfriend in his arms. They both watch the fluffy white clouds sail across the blue ocean above, an airplane flying through the sky and leaving behind white smoke. Kuroko sighs as he runs a hand lightly over Akashi’s side whilst the latter stroked the former’s unruly hair. Neither say a word until Kuroko stops his petting and Akashi knows that something is wrong. He waits patiently though, much like the other would do for him, and continues the soothing strokes of his hand over the other’s silky strands._

_“Do you…” Kuroko pauses, eyebrows scrunched together as he tries to word it properly. “Do you ever think about death?”_

_“Yes.” Akashi glances over curiously to his boyfriend, who’s eyes were far away from their simple world and deeper into his own._

_“Do you ever think about how you’ll die?” Kuroko presses on, voice neither shaky nor nonchalant. It’s more of a morbid curiosity as the shorter male curls around his lover._

_“Yes.” The redhead admits, and restrains the urge to say “of course I do. Who do you think I am?” knowing that his boyfriend would grumpily turn away from him like an unsatisfied kitten, and Akashi quite liked the warmth seeping through his clothes from their combined heat._

_“I always think about it. More than normal anyway.” The pale man shuts his eyes and remembers the lonely nights when he rolled around in the dark, desperately wanting sleep to overcome his thought filled mind. His window would be open and the cars speeding past his large house remained a comfort to him as lights from the wandering people would sift through his curtains, outlining them with light. It was always peaceful outside, but for Kuroko, it was never peaceful in his heart. Suffering from depression and suicidal tendencies didn’t help as well, for the small doubt still in his mind, like an insufferable weed refusing to be pulled, would manifest and manipulate his rational thoughts. He never really got sleep those nights._

_“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” Akashi is visibly upset and he doesn’t hide the sorrow lining his words. Kuroko breaths in and out before blinking his eyes open._

_“I don’t want to burden you.” It’s the truth. The redhead already had many pressing matters at hand, added with the additional stress from his father. It wasn’t fair of Kuroko to cause Akashi to become more stressed and anxious from Kuroko’s simple, lackluster words. He would hate himself more if the main cause of his lover’s stress was himself._

_“Tetsuya.” Akashi shifts until he’s no longer lying down and drapes his shadow over the other’s fragile body. He caresses the pale cheeks of his lover like one would handle a valuable artifact. The redhead swiftly plants a firm kiss on the petal lips before staring seriously right into the other’s glowing eyes. Akashi always loved being able to gaze into his boyfriend’s eyes that reminded him too much of his mother’s cornflowers, swaying gently in the wind as his mother gently pat his head, voice full of love and care as she read him a book. It reminded him of the blue lights he would hang up during Christmas when he was younger, proudly claiming he was a Christmas tree when he accidentally wrapped it around himself, the maids and his mother chuckling at the cute display. He would be reminded of the icy cold days during winter and the rainy promises of spring to come, reviving the previously dead season. And more than anything, anything the color of azule would remind him solely of his boyfriend, who expressed his emotions freely only in front of him with tender smiles and bruising tears._

_He drowns in the color before shaping his lips against the tempting cherry pink lips, small, close mouthed pecks that he predicted would cause jovial giggles to spill out of his lover’s open mouth, pearly teeth glinting in the sunshine. He predicts correctly, and fondly watches as Kuroko laughs freely, eyes shut in glee as Akashi presses more kisses all over his lover’s face and down onto his neck._

_“S-stop, Sei! What if someone sees?” He feebly demands, but his neck is tilting up at his ministrations and the redhead knows his boyfriend secretly loved having his attention showered all across his being._

_“Let them.” He answers casually between smooches. He finally stops and admires Kuroko, a flush painted across his cheeks and growing down his neck. It’s endearing and absolutely ethereal that Akashi has to resist the urge to kiss the other until they’re both just as breathless and smiling around the kisses._

_“You’re so embarrassing.” Kuroko covers his face with his strong hands and rolls away from his boyfriend, who only chuckles and follows after the other. Kuroko knows he can’t escape and lets the redhead pull his back against his sturdy chest._

_“Only to you, love.” Akashi teases. The blue haired male rolls his eyes and snuggles back into the chest of his lover’s. He sighs and forgets about his previous worries, too comfortable and exhausted to think of anything but the love and adoration directed at Akashi. His eyes flutter shut._

_“I love you, Sei.”_

_“I love you too, Tetsuya.”_

Akashi awakens from his slumber, the voice of his past echoing in his head and around his body. He realizes it’s a dream of when he was in high school and slumps back against the empty, cold bed. The male sighs, draping an arm across his eyes to hide the onslaught of water about to spill from his dam. He doesn’t get up until the afternoon.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“I hope you feel better soon, Kuroko!” Aida Riko exclaims, placing a basket full of her homemade horror next to his other presents, and Kuroko smiles at her, half thankful, half fearful of the wonderful baked monsters awaiting his demise. If he didn’t die from cancer, he sure as hell would die from the food poisoning. _Would it be considered murder if I died from Riko’s terrible cooking skills?_ He thinks, and a barely audible shiver passes through his body.

“Thank you, Riko. I appreciate your kindness.” He truthfully says instead of voicing his thoughts out loud. When she beams at him though, Kuroko knows he wouldn’t shoot her down with his blunt statements ever.

“No problem, Kuroko! Anyway, I have to go now.” She bites her lip as a frown settles over her face. “I wish I didn’t have to, but I have to go check up on Junpei and my athletes. I’ll see you later though! Take care, Kuroko!” The Olympic basketball coach smiles at him before turning around and leaving the room. The door remains ajar and Kuroko sighs tiredly. A quick glance over to his pile of gifts makes him fondly grin though, and he remembers how all of his friends, including forgotten ones from high school, visited him with gifts and teary eyes. He welcomed them all nonetheless, and allowed all of them to smother him with affection.

A clearing of a throat alerts Kuroko of another presence and he quickly switches his gaze to his personal doctor, Midorima. The pale man smiles at the sight of his friend, who turns a beet red at the happy gaze directed at him. Midorima walks over to his patient in bed, a clipboard in his hand as he sat down in the chair next to Kuroko.

“Hello, Shintarou.” His crush greets him, and the green haired male forgets how to breath for a minute, the melodic voice curling around his name too much for the doctor’s heart. He clears his throat instead, and hopes to all gods he isn’t blushing like a thirteen year old girl in front of her crush.

“Hello, Tetsuya.” He mentally pats himself on the back for not stuttering on his name like he did the first time they began using each other’s first names. “How are you feeling?” He professionally covers up the urge to touch the other’s face, touch every part he could reach to satisfy his erratic heart.

“Fine.” He answers honestly, and a small touch of a smile on his face makes Midorima want to shout out his unrequited feelings and to kiss the other into oblivion. He wasn’t a hormonal teenager anymore, Midorima fervently reminded himself and scribbled down notes on his clipboard. He quickly rose up from his seat and busied himself with checking the rest of Kuroko’s body, hands desperately restraining themselves from running all over the lithe body and embracing the other male in his arms. It was hard, but Midorima managed until he finally jot down the last of his notes about Kuroko’s condition, and swiftly stood up.

“Your condition is still the same from yesterday, for now. You’ll feel tired all the time and eventually, we will have to start giving you the proper nutritions through ivs to maintain your weight. Your rectum will most likely bleed a lot more due to the cancer, and you’ll feel like your bowels are never empty, unfortunately. For now though, it would be best to deal with any stress you are feeling, so if you’d like, I can bring in a radio or games for you to entertain yourself with.”

“I understand.” Kuroko thoughtfully tapped his cherry blossom lips, completely oblivious to the intense eyes zoned in on his actions. “Then, I would like the radio, please.” He politely responded. Midorima nodded in comprehension and cleared his throat once more.

“Understood. A nurse will bring you one as soon as possible. Excuse me.” Midorima turned around to leave out the door, his ears burning a deep crimson.

“Thank you.” Kuroko’s whisper carried to the door, and he hoped that his friend heard (he did). Settling back comfortably on the pillows, the pale blue haired male closed his eyes, feeling the overwhelming exhaustion from Midorima’s warning sliver into his system. Just as he was about to fall asleep though, he heard a quiet scuffle of shoes near the door of his room. Eyelids fluttering open again (after much resilience), Kuroko opened his mouth to greet the other. He gaped openly at the person standing at his door, however, and blue orbs widened as the figure stepped towards him in hesitance.

“Akashi…” He muttered, mostly to himself. His fingers wrapped tighter around the blanket and he desperately tried to compose his face in order to ensure no emotion betrayed how he truly felt about the other’s sudden presence. With a dour facade back on, Kuroko straightened up, blank eyes unwavering as the redhead offered up nothing but a bundle of cornflowers. Akashi placed them next to the mountain of other gifts, a small smile on his face as he noticed all the different presents.

“I know you’re wondering why I’m here.” The redhead starts, standing up straighter as he maintained a solid distance between them. As much as Kuroko desired the other to move closer, embrace him in those warm arms, the blue haired patient knew better. He didn’t trust his ex lover for the time being, and he refused to give in to the captivating voice that beckoned him forward. He exhaled calmly.

“Indeed.” He curtly answered, and proudly pat himself on his back internally at not faltering. Akashi stood by the door calmly before suddenly walking towards the other. He didn’t stop until he was next to Kuroko’s bed, both knees supporting his weight on the ground as he stared up at the cornflower orbs.

“I’m sorry.” He looked down, hesitance in his movements as he gazed back up at the other. Kuroko remained emotionless. He gulped. “I’m sincerely sorry, Tet-Kuroko. I know what I did was wrong, and I don’t expect you to be able to forgive me. I harmed you and Furihata, and that act in itself is unforgivable. I’m sorry, Kuroko. I’m so sorry.” Akashi wanted to repeat his apologies over and over again, if it meant receiving his lover’s forgiveness. He would kiss the ground at Kuroko’s feet, parade around in only his underwear declaring how much he loved Kuroko if it would only light up the other’s pale face with a beaming smile or a twitch of his face to suppress the chortles threatening to jump out of his throat. He would do absolutely anything, if it would stop Kuroko from looking so dead.

“You really hurt me.”

“I know.”

“You don’t deserve my forgiveness.” The redhead blinked.

“I understand.”

“How can I trust you now? How do I know you’re not Bokushi trying to mess with me?” Kuroko asked, barreling on as he felt anger and distress well up in his throat. He swallowed down the bile, sharp eyes glaring daggers at the ruby hair that he longed to comb his fingers through, those crimson strands a reminder of the danger lurking around the corner, of blood spilled when the other Akashi hurt his friends.

“I don’t expect you to trust me at all. But,” Kuroko wanted to cry at the other’s unwavering, cardinal orbs, filled with longing and love and everything he dreamed about, “I’m not Bokushi. I can promise you that much, Kuroko.” He stated firmly and confidently. The pale man held back the hitch in his throat, suppressed the small bud of hope blossoming in his heart. He strongly reminded himself of what he was supposed to do and blinked away the tears. They evaporated into the air like mist, and Kuroko turned away from the other.

“I apologize, but I do not want to see you right now. Please leave.”

“Kuroko-” Akashi suddenly shot up, and Kuroko flinched. He curled up in a ball, and refused to face the other. Akashi felt his heart rip open at the obvious fear radiating from the beautiful male next to him. As much as the redhead wanted to throw himself at the other, he knew that wouldn’t help. He sighed deeply, and closed his eyes, stepping away from his possible last chance of happiness.

“I’m sorry.” The redhead walked away to the door, pausing underneath the frame to look back at the fragile male, who still refused to look him in the eye. He swallowed down the melancholy. “Goodbye, Kuroko.” And stepped away from the hospital, his back disappearing from Kuroko’s sight.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later, that the pale haired male released a shaky sob and buried his wet face in his shaking hands.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Akashi mingled with the people, a strong facade on the outside, but the crumbling foundation of his heart eroding away with the strong Arctic winds from his lover on the inside. He kept the tears from flooding down his face, and merely walked with his head held high, past the busy nurses and doctors, and the countless patients waiting for their turn to live in a dull, white world known as the hospital. The redhead spotted someone from the colorless hospital, a bright cinnamon that he instantly recognized. He sighed, hoping that this small talk with the other wouldn’t end with a slap to his face. At least the pain would match with his heart, though.

“Furihata.” Akashi called out, and bitterly smiled when the brunette flinched before freezing on the spot. He turned around, a terrified expression in his eyes as the other tried shakily to smile at the other.

“A-Akashi.” His eyes flickered back and forth away from the intimidating redhead, as if to search for any possible escape route. When he found none, Furihata gulped loudly, and glanced back up to stare at the other in the eye. The redhead sighed, swiping a hand through messy scarlet locks before pinning the other with an apologetic look.

“I apologize for my actions.” He bluntly stated. Furihata’s eyes grew wider at the apology and he shakily attempted a glare.

“You’re just s-saying that to mess with me, Akashi.” His coffee orbs suddenly (nearly) bulged out of his head. He gasped. “Did you see Kuroko?!”

“Yes.” The taller truthfully told the shorter male. “But, no matter. He refuses to see me.” The tone in his voice as tart as raw raspberries. The brunette resisted the urge to reply with a rude, “no duh”, before politely clearing his throat.

“Well, it’s kind of obvious why.” Furihata swallowed, watching as his ex lover’s carmine orbs dulled. It still hurt for him, for the brunette to be in the presence of the man whom he once deemed to be the love of his life. Furihata urged away the feelings of remorse, of almost jealousy at how Akashi was so obviously besotted with his friend. _That’s in the past, Kouki. Don’t let him have that power over you. Kuroko needs you right now and acting like a jealous teenager isn’t going to help him._

“I know.” The powerful male sincerely looked lost. After a few minutes of speculation, he snapped out of his trance and straightened up, turning his attention back to Furihata (who didn’t allow himself to feel any bit of joy at those eyes on him. Not that it hurt any less). “Anyway, I just wanted to apologize. We led you on while still dating Kuroko and in turn, hurt both of you. I’m sorry, and I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me.” Furihata wanted to scream. He knew that even if he denied the other, a part of him would eagerly forgive him; he would forgive him a thousand times because this man was special to the brunette, and this man was also someone else’s first love. He suddenly understood how those characters in his anime felt about their unrequited feelings.

“I--” He breathed out slowly through his nose. “I forgive you.” Akashi brightened. A small smile wove delicately on his handsome face, matching auburn orbs twinkling.

“Thank you.” The brunette gulped, timidly staring down at his feet as the redhead checked his watch with a slight frown. He sighed once more, brushing his bangs away from his face. “Anyway, I’m glad I could have this talk with you, Furihata. However, I’m afraid I have to leave for a scheduled appointment.” The brunette nodded slowly, eyes still refusing to meet the other’s eyes.

“Okay then.”

“I hope we can be friends again, Furihata.” A lopsided grin. “You have interesting viewpoints when it comes to basketball, after all. Goodbye.” And with a graceful sweep of his feet, the CEO turned and strode out of the quieting hospital. The brunette didn’t look up until he was sure the shiver inducing presence was gone, and that his heart was still intact from the poisonous blue mist shrouding over his body.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Kuroko wiped away the last of his tears as he stared at himself in the reflection of the clean mirror. His face was still as pale as ever, resembling the phantom he created for himself, with impassive blue eyes that you would only see on dead fish, and thin lips in a straight line. He had just finished his business in the toilet and decided to clean up his face a little after all the ugly sobbing that commenced just a few minutes ago. The pale patient sighed uneasily, sinuses clogged up as well as his chest area, like a bunch of knots were tied together near his heart. It was uncomfortable to say the least, and add that to the unbearable pain in his abdomen, Kuroko simply felt like shit.

“I’m so pathetic.” He mumbled aloud, eyes locked with his doppelganger's. _I’m going crazy. I need to stop talking to myself like this before someone sends me to an asylum._ With those thoughts in mind, he backed away from the mocking image of his sad reflection and paced out the door, ignoring the throbbing of his stomach and the melancholy dancing in the mirror.

It was in his bed, trying desperately not to begin crying once more, that Kuroko found his guest (who was lingering in the hallway for a little while before finally mustering the courage to walk in), Furihata. He smiled amiably at his visitor and gestured for the taller male to sit down next to him.

“Furihata-kun.” The simple man greeted simply. Furihata nearly jumped at the bell like voice, and the brunette weakly grinned in response.

“Hey, Kuroko. How are you doing?” Kuroko hid a frown beneath his eyelids as he continued to smile. It was a little harder to hide his puffy, red eyes however.

“I’m doing okay.” He admitted. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but Kuroko didn’t want to reveal the whole truth to his friend. Furihata already looked pretty skittish and stressed; it would be best not to begin complaining to his friend. He held it in with a fake grin that would rival Kise’s model one.

“I saw Akashi.” The brunette blurted out before he could stop himself. Kuroko remained calm as ever, and he simply nodded. It wasn’t exactly a surprise to him; he figured his ex would eventually find Furihata and apologize to him as well.

“I see.” Kuroko worriedly frowned at his friend, whose body was trembling slightly. “Did he say anything bad to you? Did he hurt you?”

“N-no! No! Nothing like that.” Furihata quickly exclaimed, nearly jumping out of his seat in the redhead’s defense. Kuroko rose a thin eyebrow at the particular behavior of his friend, both eyebrows nearly completely up at the way his friend paled. The blue haired male scanned over the male’s body, his mind processing possible theories of why Furihata was acting so strange. He was tired, but Kuroko wanted to be there for his friend, to at least be able to listen to the brunette’s worries and woes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He politely insinuated. The brunette seemed to pale further at the suggestion and whipped his head side to side as a way of defining, “no”. Kuroko sighed at the stubborn man.

“I know it’s about Akashi, Furihata-kun.” He tried a different route instead, and Furihata instantly jolted in his seat at the inquire. The brunette slumped down in his chair and resorted to sluggishly shaking his head back and forth.

“It’s nothing important. Just some things I’m thinking of.” He insisted, gazing back up at his friend with a forced cheery smile. “Did Akashi hurt you?” Kuroko immediately wanted to blurt out a “yes”, but he held his tongue.

“Not really.” The patient picked at the strands on his blanket and thought back to the sincere words from his ex lover’s mouth. It still rang in his ears, blanketed in cozy words that sounded honest and truthful, but… But, he couldn’t bring himself to trust the man. The pale male knew his condition was bad. He knew that eventually, he would have to at least come to closure with the other male before he passed his time. It was only for the best. And as much as he wanted to hate Akashi, he simply couldn’t. They were very similar in many ways, yet so astonishingly different it was refreshing. That was why they ended up together. That was why Akashi and Kuroko became one of the most loving couples in their group of friends. But, that is why Akashi became the way he was, out of small distrust and miscommunication.

“Kuroko?” Furihata asked, a concerned gleam in his bright chestnut eyes. Kuroko smiled tiredly, feeling exhaustion weigh upon him in forms of large bricks. He felt almost like he was going through suffocation, like when he was younger, and he was bullied and nearly drowned in a lake.

“I’m fine.” It sounded a whole lot like he was barely maintaining his composure and was insisting that everything was alright, even though it wasn’t. Kuroko unconsciously curled up in himself and debated on whether or not to at least tell Furihata what happened when Akashi visited him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The brunette repeated the same words he spoke, and Kuroko smiled weakly at his friend. Nodding, the blue haired male resigned to talking about the scene seared into the back of his eyelids.

“Akashi visited me this morning.” He started timidly, as if tasting the bitterness on his tongue and reluctantly spitting out acid. “He said he was sorry.” At this point, Kuroko wondered if he would be able to speak about the whole scenario at his slow, deliberate rate.

“Yeah?” His friend encourages, and the blue haired male nodded.

“He told me he was wrong. That I don’t have to forgive him now or even ever.” Kuroko breathed out through his clenched teeth, gripping tighter onto the white blanket. He shut his eyes, partly to calm his aching heart down and entirely trying to hide the waterworks sparking up from his shut eyelids. He softly gasped as his friend placed a gentle, yet firm, hand on his own--that was shaking, he quickly noticed--in an attempt to calm down the sickly male.

Furihata’s eyes held the same amount of sorrow one had if they were utterly rejected. Kuroko bitterly smiled in his mind, knowing the effect his ex lover held over people, over simple, commoners like Furihata and himself. The brunette’s hand was shaking terribly but neither commented on it.

“I-It’ll be okay, Kuroko.” Furihata, sweet and kind Furihata, sounded so unsure that Kuroko’s ache in his heart was no longer about pitying himself, but also hurting in all the wrong ways from his friend’s grief. It was maddening, the amount of power one person could have over another. The pale blue haired male allowed a sob to slip from his structured wall and slipped his hand out of the brunette’s grasp; they settled familiarly over the sickly pale of his face and stayed there. It was a sign, a brutally mortifying sign of his weakness and he _despised_ it.

“You know w-what the worst part is?” He continued, trying desperately not to hack up and butcher the upset words. Furihata only bobbed his head up and down, tears streaming down his face as well.

“K-Kuroko…”

“The worst p-part is…” He clenched his fingers around his face, nails biting at the softness of his cheeks. If only they were able to scratch out the painful memories from his mind. “I still love him.” The patient shrilly gasped around trembling hands as he up against his knees and simply wailed.

“I know. I k-know how you feel, Kuroko.” Furihata ceased the nodding to instead, shake his head in disappointment of himself. The brunette knew that Akashi most likely still favored Kuroko. He could sense it in the way the redhead would stiffen at the smell of vanilla whenever they were out on a date, or the way he would zone out when seeing a puppy innocently barking, wagging its tail to the beat of its owner’s laughter. He was disappointed for not acting on the nagging suspicion in his heart that wildly yelled out that the Akashi he was dating wasn’t acting like an “Akashi” should. A small chuckle, devoid of all emotion, left his parted lips as another wave of hurt barreled through him.

“I still love that bastard.” Kuroko remained hunched up in his feeble ball, shoulders shaking vigorously from the amount of tears flooding out of his system. Furihata shook his head in defeat, knowing that both Kuroko and he were fools for wanting and longing for a man way out of their league. It was honestly eye opening in the worst way.

“I know, Kuroko.” He hiccuped. “I know.” The shorter male fervently wiped away the neverending drops from his crystal blue orbs and shivered. Both Furihata and Kuroko cried themselves in anguish from their failed first loves. Unbeknownst to them, a tall male clenched his fist around the bouquet of red tulips in his hand before straightening up. He walked away dully as his taped fingers pushed up his glasses in hopes of covering his crushed heart. The taps of his shoes and the rustle of red tulips being thrust into the trash can were completely drowned out from the sobs of heartbroken men. They weren’t the one ones.

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

_He blinked twice. It was surely a dream seeing as his grandmother was supposedly dead and buried six feet under the ground next to his grandfather. Kuroko blinked again. Her kind, withering smile was the same as when she was actually alive and breathing, full of encouraging words and wise advice. His smile grew as tears streamed from his eyes at his beloved grandmother. She continued to smile, beckoning him closer where the light seemed to be enhancing until he was utterly blinded. Behind her though, he could see the outline of his tall, brave grandfather, who was covered by the white wisps of the cloud scene they were standing around. He noticed, with a start, that he was glowing brightly as well, matching the background of this odd dream. It was comforting and warm and he didn’t feel the striking blows against his stomach and rectum area like he usually did. It wasn’t scorching hot and to his relief, he didn’t notice any searing blood reds in his cloudy vision. It felt almost like--_

“-ya! Tetsuya!” The visage vanished as fast as it had come and Kuroko snapped his eyes open. He blearily stared into the lights from the white ceilings, which burned in an unpleasant way, unlike the whiteness from the haze he previously was thrust into. Midorima’s blurry figure rose above his head, shadowing the beating lights from his eyes, and he sighed gratefully. He wasn’t able to move his body, however, because it felt like lead weighing him down against the hospital bed.

“Shi-Shintarou?” Kuroko slurred, feeling the cold licking at his fingertips slowly dissipate as warmth flooded back into his body. He felt numb and sick, the dull pain from his cancer thrumming against his stomach, and weirdly enough, his head.

“Oh, thank god.” Midorima sighed. Large black bags were stained underneath drained juniper eyes and permanent frown lines marked across his forehead and face. Kuroko blinked. It was disheartening, having to take in his drooping friend who was working so hard in order to provide for him. Nonetheless, Kuroko weakly smiled at his friend in hopes of lifting his mood. It didn’t.

“What happened?” The shorter male managed to croak from his parched lips and desert dry throat. “It feels like I just died or something.” He weakly joked with a straight face. Midorima snapped his bloodshot eyes open from their closed state when he was slouching in relief and muttering a long list of prayers to any deity willing to listen. The green haired doctor’s frown lines became more prominent as he growled.

“That’s because you almost did.” Kuroko wanted to be surprised and terrified, he really did. But he just escaped the clutches of near death and for some reason, his body no longer wanted to cooperate with him.

“Oh.” He merely offered, not knowing what else to say. Kuroko blinked once more. Midorima looked like he was the one dealing with Kuroko’s cancer; he grit his teeth in painful turmoil before collapsing to his knees against the hard floor, uncaring of the bruise forming and the slight jolt it caused from the doctor’s fatigued body.

“I thought…” He started, staring down at the pale fingers of his love’s, which were almost blue when he caught Kuroko about to slip out of the living world forever. He wanted to check up on his friend, maybe finally be able to confess his feelings before Kuroko passed away once and for all, leaving behind Midorima’s broken heart and regretful eyes. But, he never took in account that Kuroko would possibly leave whenever his body gave out. Just because Kuroko supposedly had “a month left to live” didn’t mean it was a scheduled appointment. His crush could legitimately pass away in the next hour, tomorrow, or the day after that and holding this type of knowledge honestly scared Midorima to death (if he didn’t keel over from his fretting over Kuroko and maintaining the patients in the hospital at the same time).

“Shintarou?” Kuroko’s breathless voice inquired. He was no doubt exhausted from fighting his due date away, and Midorima sagged in relief at the beautiful voice. He willed the tears to die away from his eyes as he gingerly placed his larger hand on his crush’s closest hand. It was almost stone cold. He quickly warmed the freezing fingers, clasping tightly, but gently, on the endearingly smaller hand.

“Thank god.” He repeated, his frown fading away with the cold sweat budding at his forehead. The taller male placed Kuroko’s hand against his cheek, watching as the blue orbs widened a bit with quiet contentment. He uncharacteristically smiled, so tender and loving it physically hurt the other to gaze at the open, honest eyes boring in his own. Midorima nuzzled the warming hand in his own with his eyes closed in satisfaction, pressing a small kiss against the back of the hand. Kuroko could only watch in astonishment.

“S-shintarou?” He blurted out his name, and Midorima’s eyelids fluttered, revealing shiny peridot eyes that blew Kuroko’s breath away. He never noticed just how green his friend’s eyes were until now, when Midorima silently gazed at him with gentle eyes one would reserve only for their loved ones. Kuroko gulped past the nervousness lodged in his throat.

“I thought…” Midorima started up again, hand clenching harder against Kuroko’s. “I thought you had passed away before I could say anything…” The green haired male lowered his eyes onto the bed, long emerald eyelashes framing his eyes which could only be seen from how his glasses slid down to his nose. Kuroko gulped. He felt his heart beat.

“Say what?” He bluntly asked, heartbeat picking up faster and faster until he felt like he couldn’t breath. It was as if Midorima planted a growing seed in his throat, and it bloomed, leaving behind a red rose with thorns stabbing against his throat. He was suffocating, he knew it.

Those forest eyes bore into him, with as much intensity as crackling thunder and illuminating lightning in a brewing storm had. It didn’t help whatsoever with Kuroko’s breathless situation. 

“I love you, Tetsuya.” The words rang loud and clear. The white white walls suddenly became more unbearable, with the way the whiteness of his hospital room shone brightly all around Kuroko, and he could feel the last of his breath melting away with the last of the ice in his body as the spring sun banished the rest of the dead winter. And with how intensely passionate Midorima suddenly looked, Kuroko instantly remembered memories better left buried under the frozen dirt and piercing ice. He shut his eyes, trying to block out the intensity of his friend’s honest eyes, that reminded him too much of what passion was like. Passion was always dyed in rose red, after all.

“I’m sorry.” Kuroko muttered, thinking back to the same line a certain someone said to him all those years ago. Midorima’s voice was sounding more and more like _him_ and Kuroko didn’t want to tarnish his friend’s image like that, especially not after he poured out his feelings to _Kuroko_ of all people. The blue haired male exhaled shakily, desiring nothing more than to erase the crooning words against his ears as he lay back against his chest and allowed the other’s body heat to warm his internal tundra.

“I understand.” Midorima’s words struck at the strings of Kuroko’s heart. He opened his eyes with a small frown on his face. His friend looked utterly defeated, and it hurt more than his cancer would ever be able to inflict.

“Shintarou…” Kuroko spoke softly, melancholic eyes watching the slumped figure of his proud friend. It hurt. The bright greens of spring were reduced down to a swampy muck, and Midorima continued, words thick as the color in his eyes.

“I knew this would happen.” His eyes slid shut and he repeated the same mantra over and over again. _You knew this would happen. You know he doesn’t love you the way he loves Akashi._

“Shin…” The pale male said, looking even more pained than Midorima, which was odd, since the green haired male should be feeling like shit, should be feeling depressed at his unrequited love. He knew he would be rejected, he knew this would happen. But yet… A foolish part of him hoped that Kuroko would look at him the way he looked at Akashi, with love and adoration and fondness that Midorima knew he would never be on the receiving end of.

“Don’t blame yourself, Tetsuya.” His voice was no longer unwavering, but a tall, wise tree that stretched towards the heavens but would never be able to touch the blue, blue sky. He understood. He understood perfectly, but why? Why was he crying?

“But--” Kuroko protested. Midorima held up a hand, hoping that the mysterious glint of his glasses would cover the water welling up in his eyes.

“Please, Tetsuya. I knew what I was signing up for when I fell in love with you.” The doctor exhaled harshly from his nose. He braced himself up on his unsteady feet and backed away from the bed. It was too bright in the room, with the way his crush was glowing and appearing to be some sort of untouchable phantom. It hurt. Of course it hurt.

“I will be back to check up on you in a few hours. Get some rest.” He straightened up, ignoring the small protests that were filled with so much pain, he nearly faltered. But, Midorima knew. He wasn’t going to place false hopes over his crush again. Instead, he would be the tall, strong forest supporting Kuroko, the blue skies which he starved for contact with. Only the raindrops falling from his eyes was enough to sate him for now as he turned away from the tempting bed and directed his lumbering body out of the door. He didn’t stop when Kuroko called for his name again, like wind chimes dancing elegantly with the wind. He didn’t stop when Takao called him over, worry written all over his face. He didn’t stop until he was outside of the hospital in the back, with no one to watch him but the shadows. Tears streamed down his face against his will, as he gazed up longingly at the tall expanse of the sky.

And then, he cried and cried and cried.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

They didn’t speak a single word of it again. Kuroko didn’t comment on how terribly exhausted his friend looked, and Midorima didn’t snap sarcastic retorts at the other to hide his worry for his crush. Still, the air stung with tension as Midorima snipped out short, curt questions and Kuroko attempted to strike up a conversation; whether serious or not, the doctor would always reply with “later” or “I have to go tend to other patients”. It hurt. It honestly hurt. Kuroko knew he shouldn’t feel this bad. After all, Midorima was the one in more pain from his rejection. Regardless, Kuroko couldn’t help but feel guilt eating away at his heart.

The pale man sighed as once again, Midorima nodded politely before speed walking out the door. He wasn’t able to get up at all at this point, since his body’s systems were utterly failing. He didn’t really understand why he wasn’t “going towards the light” yet, but he did know one thing. It was almost time.

Kuroko didn’t know how he knew, but there was a deep gut feeling that his expiration date was crawling closer and closer to him. He knew, but he wanted to work things out with Midorima, one of his closest friends now, before his body failed him completely and his breathing would cease. He determinedly stared up at the ceiling, deciding that it would be best if he said all his goodbyes to his other friends first, before confronting Midorima.

After asking Midorima to call up his old basketball team members, Kuroko managed to find himself in a crowded room with his teammates trying too hard to lighten up the mood with aimless bickering and forced smiles in his direction. He inhaled harshly before letting loose a loud exhale, which halted all his friends in their movements. Kagami immediately rushed to his side, demanding to know if something was wrong or if Kuroko was in pain. The shadow waved him away, leaning back comfortably against the pillows propped up behind his back. The rest of the team watched him with sorrowful eyes and he sighed. It was time to tell the truth.

“I’m sorry, everyone.” He bowed his head as low as he could. The response was instantaneous. All of his members instantly began to stutter how it wasn’t his fault and that he was the one suffering, etc. All stuff he’s heard before, basically. Kagami was the only one who didn’t move a muscle, a contemplative frown scrawled across his face. He was the light of their shadow-light dynamic after all, and Kagami knew that something wasn’t right. He trusted his instincts, and they were all unpleasantly screaming at him.

“Why are you sorry, Tetsu?” He asked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the corner of the wall. His former team members glared daggers into his skull (Riko especially), but he ignored them in favor of honing in on Kuroko’s blank face, which twitched under his harsh sweep of his eyes.

“Bakagami! Be a little more sensitive to Kuroko!” Hyuuga demanded, mainly in fear of the wrathful, sadistic coach who was smiling dangerously at Kagami with her eyes closed. Kagami ignoring her didn’t help the situation whatsoever, and the raven mentally cursed his friend in his head.

“Yeah, Bakagami!” Koganei scooted a little further away from the coach and whispered dramatically, “do you want us all to die?!” Mitobe nodded along with his boyfriend’s words, and the rest of the team scooched as far as they could away from the coach without her noticing. Only Kiyoshi, with an eery “older brother vibe” like smile remained unfazed as he calmed down the glasses wearing raven.

“Settle down, Junpei. I’m sure Kagami is just worried about Kuroko.” Hyuuga snapped at his idiotic friend who couldn’t read the damn atmosphere yet again, butting his face closer to Kiyoshi’s. The team ignored their blatant sexual tension and turned back to Kuroko, who watched them with amused eyes. However, a thin layer of anxiety and gloom surrounded his blue orbs, casting a large shadow over the usually crystal clear color. At the odd and worrying gleam in his eyes, the team settled down once more with their own anxiety gnawing away at their hearts. Something told them that whatever Kuroko was going to say wouldn’t be good news.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, his voice almost like a robot as he stared down at his hands. The team awaited for their friend’s words patiently, some even urging him on with calm, supportive eyes. Kuroko breathed in and out. “I lied to everyone.”

“W-what?” Hyuuga spoke first, disbelief written over his face. They all wondered what Kuroko was lying about since the pale man was a very honest, blunt person who wouldn’t hesitate to call someone out on their salt.

“Tetsu… What?” Kagami asked. With confusion on his face, he uncrossed his arms, surveying his friend’s heart crippling state. The other male simply shook his head.

“I lied about my cancer…” The phantom braced himself with his arms. They wrapped around his tiny figure as a form of protection. It was utterly pitiful and sad and his former teammates exchanged anxious glances.

“What do you mean?” Riko carefully worded at Kuroko’s reluctance to continue his talk. However, when his head rose up from its bowed state, the haunting glow in the winter orbs, the brunette regretted ever asking something so personal. Kuroko straightened up, a serious vibe rolling off him in electric waves.

“I’m going to die soon.” Silence. Naturally there would be silence at the bomb he suddenly dropped on everyone in the room. Kiyoshi’s usual smile ebbed away, leaving behind a sturdy frown. Mitobe’s droopy eyes were wider than the moon itself, his boyfriend mirroring the shock on his face. Riko and Hyuuga glanced at each other, a grim, thin line of their lips concealing loud exclamations of disbelief from tumbling out. Fukuda and Kawahara grimaced. Izuki lowered his gaze somberly to the floor. Kagami gaped openly. Only Furihata managed to seal the quivers from his body because he already knew the truth. It didn’t mean he was completely calm; the truth still fucking hurt.

“Kuroko…” Izuki blinked away tears, glancing up at his weak friend who was the mere husk of the man he used to be. The raven shook his head.

“I-I’m sorry.” Kuroko piped up again, drops falling from his soul. The patient swiped aggressively at his dumb eyes that were raining down dumber tears of weakness. He didn’t want to fall apart like this in front of his friends. He didn’t want their possible last meeting to end with them coddling and pampering him like a child. “I should have told you sooner. But…” Strong emotions unravelled and he hacked up a cough. Warmth surrounded his shoulders soon after, a familiar scent of the tropics and sunshine wafting in his nose.

“Dammit, Tetsuya.” Kagami murmured, his wine eyes closed. He needed to stay strong for his best friend, so he squeezed his eyes tightly to erase big, fat drops from releasing onto his face. Kuroko merely sobbed in response against his shoulder, the two best friends locked in a comforting embrace. The dam broke. After witnessing their shadow’s tears, thus enhancing the truth behind his words, the former Seirin team began to bawl.

“You d-don’t deserve this, Kuroko.” Koganei sniffled, his words barely heard of for his face was pressed onto Mitobe’s jacket. His boyfriend nodded sagely along.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Kuroko repeated again and again. He didn’t deserve such understanding and wonderful friends like Seirin. They didn’t deserve to have to deal with his burden and his stress. It was so unfair. So damn unfair.

Kagami felt like the world was falling under him. Back when he lived in Los Angeles, California, it was common for earthquakes small to big to appear in his state. But now? Now that he lived in Japan (which was also known for their earthquakes), and shared his love for basketball with amazing friends, and won the Winter Cup all those years ago with his best friend’s help, and smiled and smiled as they continued to play the sport that bonded them together as brothers, the redhead cried. No earthquake or natural disaster could compare to the earth shaking underneath him at his best friend’s statement. It was unfair. Absolutely unfair that such a kind, compassionate, amazing person like Kuroko was going to die soon.

“Tetsuya!” He wailed. Everything his best friend had gone through, from the bullying when he was younger, to his best friends in middle school deserting him, quaked within Kagami. He clung onto his best friend tighter, knowing that Kuroko would soon escape from his grasp and leave them, _him_ forever. It was simply unfair.

“I’m sorry,” Kuroko’s words bubbled from his lips, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t w-want to tell you about any of this. You don’t deserve to have to cry over someone like me. I’m so sorry.” Kuroko cried on. He could feel the doleful atmosphere stinging against his eyes and wrapping around each and everyone of his beloved friends like wire.

“W-what are you, the apologetic mushroom?” Hyuuga shook his head. He glared at his friend through blurry eyes with a frown.

“Yeah, what are you saying, Kuroko?” Izuki piped up. “We’re your _friends._ If anything, you don’t deserve to be on your deathbed. Literally.” He cried out when Riko punched him “lightly” on the arm, tears and snot streaming down her face.

“Shut up, Izuki.” She threatened before turning back to Kuroko. “Listen here, Kuroko. You’re an amazing person. You’re so kind and smart and you’ve always been there for us.” She gulped down her salty tears and clenched her fists. “Y-you’re such a great friend and I’m s-so glad we were able to meet you.” She hiccuped. Riko couldn’t stop the next bout of tears and she hid her face away on Hyuuga’s shoulder, another shudder wracking her body.

“Goddammit. Dammit!” The captain seethed. He rubbed quickly at his eyes but it was futile. Everything hurt for them, and they could only imagine how much pain Kuroko was in. It was so goddamn unfair. So unfair for someone as selfless and hardworking as Kuroko Tetsuya to realize he had only a week or two left to live the last of his short life before disappearing like the ghost he was. It was ironic but it wasn’t funny.

“Everyone…” Kuroko grasped onto Kagami’s hand tighter, his friend on his knees next to his bed to give Kuroko some air and space. The redhead sighed, squeezing the pale blue haired male’s hand as a sign of comfort. The two reveled in their bond; it still hurt though. Their bond was so strong that it was nearly impossible to destroy. Even by death.

“You mean so much to me, Tetsuya.” Kagami stated. His serious tone caught the rest of the team’s attention and they nodded in agreement.

“Everyone… Thank you.” Kuroko cried. “Thank you for being my friend and for caring for me.” Another sob as his friends grinned waterly. “I love all of you so much.”

“We love you too, Kuroko/Tetsuya.” They responded, heaving their heavy, saddened bodies up to gather their shadow in their arms. In his heart, Kuroko knew he would never forget his friends, and they would never forget him, when he passed away. He would be the shining star in their lives, the one that shone so bright that people would wish on him. And he would do everything in his power to grant his most important people’s wishes.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

After Seirin, it was the “Generation of Miracles”, who were also his closest friends after all these years. He managed to seek them out one by one, all in the same day but never at the same time. Midorima softened up a bit more after two days, mainly because Kuroko moved less and less by the day and his labored breathing began to falter at random intervals of the day. They still weren’t talking about Midorima’s confession or Kuroko’s rejection, but they still managed to at least converse about random subjects during the day. If Kuroko noticed how Midorima’s visits became more and more frequent, he didn’t utter a single word about it. Nonetheless, Kuroko remained a solid structure with a small smile on his face, even in the face of death.

Surprisingly, Murasakibara was the one to arrive first after Kuroko’s call. It was in the wee hours of the morning when Kuroko was staring up at the ceiling with classical music playing in the background from the tiny radio Midorima brought him. The pale man glanced up at the shuffled footsteps by his door and was greeted with the tall, purple haired giant, who at first glance, seemed very bored and tired. However, Kuroko knew him better, knew all his friends from middle school best, and he knew that Murasakibara placed a carefully bored mask on his face to camouflage the misery in his eyes.

“Atsushi-kun.”

“Tet-chin.” They both greeted each other at the same time. Kuroko merely giggled sluggishly and weakly gestured for Murasakibara to sit down on the plastic chair next to his bed. The giant easily complied, shuffling his feet like a scolded child. He gently sat down in his seat, no sight of his bags of snacks in his hands. Kuroko ignored the odd fact and merely grinned up at Murasakibara’s solemn face.

“Thank you for visiting me, Atsushi-kun.” He ended it with a feeble cough from his thin body, and for a split second, a flash of worry and doubt could be seen in the orchid eyes. Kuroko slowly moved his hand up and down against his chest, eyes squeezing shut as he felt another pang against his abdomen. He decided to ignore the feeling of wanting to release himself and instead, turned his head slightly to accommodate all of his friend’s large figure.

“Tet-chin…” Murasakibara hesitated on his clumsy words. Kuroko smiled tenderly at his friend, who stayed silent to gather up his courage and his words.

“I’m glad you’re here, Atsushi.” Murasakibara stilled at the soft voice. “I’m happy you took time out of your busy schedule to come visit me, Atsushi-kun.”

“Tet--”

“Thank you.” Kuroko’s smile glowed with the rest of his light body, and Murasakibara had to blink a few times to make sure his friend was indeed still there, still alive on that uncomfortable snow bed and still (barely) breathing. It was hard to sense Kuroko’s presence, for the unnatural glow encased around his body was beginning to blend into the white glow of the hospital bed, as well as the hospital walls.

“I’m sorry.” The purple haired giant apologized. Kuroko quirked a brow. He surmised that Murasakibara was apologizing for all those years ago, when he and the rest of the famed “Generation of Miracles” ended up leaving and hurting one of their most irreplaceable friends because of their proud selfishness.

“Whatever for?” Kuroko humored him instead, a patient smile and dazed look in his eyes. Murasakibara hated that look.

“For hurting you in middle school.” It was strange, hearing the seriousness in the giant’s tone. He never really grew out of the childish way he spoke and acted, so hearing Murasakibara sounding like an adult shocked Kuroko. It didn’t show on his face, but Kuroko still managed to widen his eyes with a lot of effort.

“Atsushi…”

“No, Tetsuya.” Another surprise. “We-- _I_ really hurt you. I’m sorry.” Kuroko realized with a start that tears were flooding from the giant’s face as he sobbed softly.

“Oh, Atsushi…” The pale man smiled soothingly and fondly at his friend and placed a soft, feeble hand on top of Murasakibara’s much larger one. The giant froze from the contact, his other large hand resting on top of Kuroko’s white hand. Murasakibara gingerly pet the warmish hand and blinked his eyes close. Kuroko was still warm. Kuroko was still breathing. Kuroko is still alive.

“I forgive you.” Kuroko reassured, “I forgave you a long time ago.”

“R-really?” The shorter male smiled as the childish tone came back. He was relieved and also quite happy that his friend asked for his forgiveness even now. It showed how much Murasakibara cared about him, about how he still felt guilty after all these years. And it made Kuroko so grateful.

“Yes, Atushi.”

“Tet-chin is n-nice. Like chocolate cake.”

“I see.” Kuroko’s smile grew and Murasakibara decided he liked that versus the blank expression the phantom usually had on his face. The purple haired male nodded sagely. He blinked away the last of his tears and continued to pet Kuroko’s hand.

“Mhm. Tet-chin is like apple pie. He puts a smile on everyone’s face.” Murasakibara continued to rant, his eyebrows scrunching up adorably in trying to compare Kuroko to his other favorite sweets. But, Kuroko knew. It was childish and cute, yes. But, it was also the way Murasakibara complimented someone, and understanding that caused a light chortle to escape from Kuroko’s lips. It hurt a little, but he felt mirth bellowing out from his aching body. He was so lucky. So damn lucky to have friends like Murasakibara and Seirin.

“Thank you, Atsushi-kun.” The giant shrugged, openly staring at Kuroko. “Atsushi-kun is also like apple pie.” Kuroko complimented.

“Eh? Why?” Murasakibara tilted his head to one side and Kuroko merely giggled.

“Because you’re sweet and you smell nice. Also, you’re nice to have around.” Kuroko pursed his lips as his friend pouted.

“No fair, Tet-chin. That’s my line.”

“Too late, Atsushi-kun.” Kuroko playfully retorted, a grin creeping up on his lips. Murasakibara copied his actions, and before long, they both shared a joyful laugh. As the laughter died down on their lips, the pale man began to cough again. After his coughing storm, he sagged tiredly back onto his bed, completely conscious of the fact that his friend’s hands were nearly squeezing the life out of him. He weakly moved his hand and Murasakibara immediately let go.

“Tet-chin…” Murasakibara’s face was pale. His droopy eyes were wide at the scene he just witnessed, and Kuroko shook his head. The blue haired male calmly pat Murasakibara’s hand and exhaustedly smiled at the taller male.

“It’s… Okay.”

“No it’s not, Tet-chin.” Murasakibara crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Kuroko’s unmoving body. The pale man fought the exhaustion creeping up on his body as he regarded his stubborn friend with a small tint of a smile on his lips.

“It’ll be okay… I’ll be a star…” He sighed drowsily. “I’ll grant all your wishes, Atsushi…” Murasakibara hummed and the soothing sound lulled Kuroko into a half awake state.

“Tet-chin…”

“Hmm?”

“You’re amazing.” Was it raining? Kuroko’s eyes were half lidded and his vision was blurry. He felt another pang, but this time, in his chest region. A few more drops landed on his cheek and he blearily wondered if Midorima forgot to close the window and if it was raining outside. The rain was awfully salty, and Kuroko opened his mouth to reply.

“Not as amazing as you, Atsushi.” A muffled sob from the person next to him. Kuroko blinked owlishly and barreled on before he fell asleep and wasn’t able to say everything he wanted to Murasakibara. “You’re nice… And I’m glad you’re my friend.”

“T-Tet-chin. I’m sorry…” The giant sniffled, and Kuroko turned his head over to where he assumed Murasakibara was. Another sigh fell from his lips. It was just so cozy in his spot and his body was no longer functioning.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault… It’s not your fault.” Kuroko allowed his eyes to finally slip. He was so warm and content in his blankets, and he barely registered a soft feeling on his forehead before his mind completely shut down.

“I’m happy I met you…” Kuroko mumbled; Murasakibara knew he was asleep by then. The purple haired giant smiled bitterly at his friend. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to die. Murasakibara shook his head, more tears escaping from his eyes as he grit his teeth. He pulled himself up to his feet and cast a longing look at his friend. The purple haired giant gently pressed a kiss to Kuroko’s forehead before setting down his farewell gift. Without another glance back to his special friend, Murasakibara Atsushi left, a promise on his lips and water rolling down his face.

“Goodbye, Tet-chin… Until we meet again…” His words whispered around the busy noises of the bustling hospital.

On Kuroko’s wrist, the amethyst bracelet gleamed with a mixture of the sunlight and liquid regret.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

_White light streamed into Kuroko’s shut eyelids, painting them a bright red. He miserably grumbled, trying to turn his body away from the light and continue to dream. The light was unrelenting, and he groggily opened his eyes. With a start, Kuroko realized he was back in the same cloud like atmosphere from a few days before. It was still extremely bright and warm, causing a bright smile to appear on his face._

_“Where am I?” The pale man wondered aloud, examining the area around him for any signs of answers to his questions. As far as he could tell, there was nothing else but large clouds and the warm white light cascading against his cold skin. He felt truly content being here. Just as he was about to take another step forward to discover the place a little more, a strong urge pummeled through his body. He groaned, half in pain and half in dismay as he sunk down to the soft floor. He glanced around in hopes of finding his grandmother, but she was not here this time._

_A tug alerted him to another presence and he wildly looked behind him before noticing a smaller version of him. It was himself as a child. The same azure locks and eyes, the same emotionless face: it was definitely Kuroko Tetsuya as a kid. He knelt down to his younger self’s height._

_“What’s wrong?” The boy’s face scrunched up as he kept mouthing words, as if screaming for Kuroko to listen. There were no sounds coming out of his lips, however, and Kuroko scrunched his eyebrows together._

_“What?” Younger Kuroko’s lips were beginning to talk so fast, Kuroko couldn’t read a thing from himself. Suddenly, a loud screech filled his head and the pale blue haired male stumbled back. The screeching grew voluminous and Kuroko covered his ears with furrowed brows. When he reopened his eyes, the little boy was no longer silently screaming at him. Instead, the same word was being repeated over and over again._

_“Tetsuya.” He mouthed. Kuroko’s eyes widened._

“Tetsuya!” The patient gasped loudly, air recollecting in his lungs as his eyes shot open. He felt like he was just suffocating previously and Kuroko desperately inhaled more oxygen. He glanced around wildly, wondering for a moment if he was dead, before catching a sobbing blonde’s eye.

“R-Ryouta?” He managed to slur out. The blonde wailed once more, his loud volume causing Kuroko to frown. No wonder he heard that awful screeching in his dream: it was just Kise.

“Tetsuya!” Kise cried out, launching his body at Kuroko’s. He instantly snuggled up against the previously frozen body and rubbed his head on Kuroko’s shoulder. The patient grunted at the added weight on his body, but didn’t say anything as Kise hiccuped. The blonde was obviously spooked and in distress, and Kuroko summed it up to him being close to death. Again.

“Shh, Ryouta.” He yawned on the name as he calmly began patting his friend’s back while his other hand played with Kise’s hair. The model significantly calmed down before Kise sniffled loudly, jerking his head up to stare at Kuroko with crestfallen eyes. Huge, puffy bags were outlined under his eyes from the harsh lighting of the room, and Kuroko blinked a few times to ensure he didn’t go blind or anything.

“T-Tetsuyacchi! I thought you were dead!” Kise sobbed, tearing up at the thought of his friend passing away without Kise being able to even say goodbye. Kuroko chuckled softly.

“So was I, honestly.”

“Tetsucchi! You’re not supposed to joke about that kind of thing!” Kise berated him quickly, a huge hiccup ruining his stern image. Kuroko shrugged (with much difficulty) and pat Kise a little forcefully to indicate that the blonde was squishing his body. Kise easily got the message and he bounced off Kuroko with an unmanly screech.

“Kise. Please shut up.” He deadpanned. Having Kise yell in his ear wasn’t the most pleasant feeling, after all. Kise’s voice died down to a whisper and Kuroko felt a migraine coming on. He didn’t enjoy the sharp pain from his rectum either, which seemed to dull as days passed by. Probably because his time of death was approaching rapidly. Honestly, Kuroko would be surprised if he lasted more than another three days.

“I’m sorry, Tetsucchi! I just thought you were dead and I got really scared so I told Daikicchi to find Shincchi! But they were taking too long so I started freaking out more and--” Kuroko raised his hand up to stop the babbling blonde. He exhaled as deep as he could and clasped his hands together.

“I understand, Ryouta-kun.” His stern face morphed into a small smile as he gazed at Kise with milky eyes. “I’m sorry I worried you, Ryouta.” Kuroko waited for Kise to throw himself bodily at him once more as he braced himself. However, he didn’t expect his friend to instead, slump down on the plastic chair next to him and sigh tiredly. The blonde weakly grinned at the patient before glancing down at his own clasped hands. They were trembling from his near panic attack and Kise’s heart was still beating harshly against his rib cage.

“I’m sorry too, Tetsucchi. I was so scared… So… scared…” Kise could easily recall the way he skipped in, a too cheery smile on his face as he yelped out his friend’s name as a greeting. However, when silence greeted him back, Kise knew something was wrong right away. He stared down at his friend in horror, for the heart monitor next to him held a very faint pulse, the small beeping sounds lost in his mind as the blonde immediately ran back out to alert his boyfriend to find Midorima or another doctor. When he arrived back in Kuroko’s room, the line was dead. A long beep echoed in his head before panic settled in the pit of his stomach and the next thing the model knew, he was yelling out pleas to his (presumed) dead friend.

“Ryouta.” Kuroko’s melodious voice blew all the terrifying memories away. Kise sniffled, long streams of liquid falling down his red face. He chuckled awkwardly, wiping away the tears falling down.

Kuroko smiled. “I’m lucky to have such a wonderful friend like you, Ryouta.” Kise stopped sniffling and whipped his head up to face his old mentor. A nostalgic smile curled on his friend’s lips and Kise wondered how Kuroko was glowing even more than usual.

“Eh?” He inquired curiously. Kise was touched, and he watched Kuroko with hawk eyes as the male gazed up at the ceiling.

“Believe it or not, you were always the member in our basketball team that could manage to bring a smile on everyone’s face.” Kuroko sighed, closing his eyes and relishing in the small darkness he could connect to underneath his lids. He continued, “I always wondered how I could become more like you. You were blinding, you know? Always cheerful and sunny, and you stood out. I always wished I could stand out and become more noticeable, truth be told.” Kuroko clenched his joined hands tightly.

“I’m not--” Kise was about to deny, but the sentence became caught in his throat. Like slow motion, he watched his friend slowly open his eyes before rolling his head over to gaze at Kise with warm, clear sky eyes.

“I’m happy to have met you, all those years ago, Ryouta.” Kise’s lower lip trembled. He promised himself he would be able to visit his best friend with a smile on his face, no matter how much it hurt. Obviously, he broke the promise from the moment he stepped in his friend’s room. Kise shook his head, teardrops racing down his tan, handsome face.

“No, Tetsu…” He glanced back up with watery eyes. “I’m lucky to have met you in middle school. You’re amazing, Tetsuyacchi.” Kise finished with the biggest grin he could pull off while in an emotional state. A breathless chuckle left Kuroko’s lips and the blonde felt pride well up in his chest at the sound. Kuroko smiled with his wet eyes closed.

“Thank you, Ryouta.”

“No, thank _you_ , Tetsucchi. For saving us all those years ago.” _From saving me in basketball and for being such a selfless friend to me. To all of us._ Kise blinked away his tears just as Aomine stumbled into the room with sweat beading his forehead.

“Tetsu!” The dark skinned male hollered, running over to his best friend who greeted him with a smile. Midorima exhaled in obvious relief as he rested against the door frame with a small smile. He watched as Kuroko pat Aomine’s head, uncaring of how sweaty and hot the other male was. With another fond smile directed at Kuroko, the doctor turned around and walked away to allow his crush and the two idiots some time. He also may or may not have left behind a box of tissues for the lot, but only because it was Aquarius’s lucky item (it wasn’t). And if the group of friends so happened to use the tissues, they merely smiled at each secretively (and sadly) and held back the snide comments at the doctor (they didn’t).

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Aomine sighed in relief at his friend, who was still paler than a ghost, but breathing all the same. He cradled Kuroko’s hand gingerly in his, his other hand occupied with his boyfriend’s as they sat down on either side of their bedridden friend. Sharing stories and reminiscing the past, Aomine deemed the day to be fun and light hearted. You know, other than the fact that Kuroko’s death date was being pushed a lot earlier than they expected (or wanted). They didn’t know how long their petit friend would live, but judging by how utterly worn out their friend was (and also from how Kuroko basically nearly died during the day), Kuroko only had a day or two left before his body would utterly collapse.

He sighed once more, smiling along to Kise’s story about a stalking fan; he had already heard the story about five times, each with different scenarios and fans, but still creepy and similar anyway. Even feeling the apprehension from Kuroko’s untimely death, Aomine couldn’t help but cast a worried glance over to his best friend. There were so many things left unsaid from their past, and so many wounds/scars that Aomine had yet to apologize for in behalf of his younger, foolish self. However, he found his opportunity to speak to Kuroko alone when Kise shot him a knowing look before excusing himself to go out and buy a drink. After waving his boyfriend away with the words, “you know what I like”, Aomine exhaled deeply. The door shut after him, signalling for the dark haired male to begin his long apology that was also long overdue.

“Daiki-kun?” Kuroko asked, a certain glint in his eyes that Aomine realized as perception. Kuroko was too smart and observant for his own good, and Aomine gulped down the rest of his hesitance.

“I’m sorry for leaving you behind in middle school.” He blurted out without a filter and mentally smacked himself on the forehead. Well, at least his pride wasn’t holding him back this time.

“Okay.”

“What?” The dark skinned male confusedly said. He blinked at his friend, who merely offered a slight upturn of his lips with mature eyes.

“I wondered when you would apologize for that.” Kuroko shrugged. “I figured you would have the guilt eating away at you and that you would eventually apologize for your actions. The circumstances aren’t the best, however.” _For I’m about to die_ , was left untouched and wandering around lost in the air. Aomine gulped and stared down at their entwined hands.

“You know me too well.” He settled with the safe side: joking terribly. Laughing awkwardly, Aomine cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Tetsu.”

“I forgive you, Daiki-kun. I’ve forgiven you long ago.” Aomine frowned deeply, his eyes going back up to lock with his best friend’s.

“But, I really hurt you, Tetsu! I was a jerk and I left you behind because of my arrogance!” The taller male cast his eyes ashamedly back down to the bed. He hated feeling weak like this, but it had to be said. He had to be able to move on from the past in order to be able to start another chapter of his life. He had to, or he would fall into a deep, dark pit when his best friend passed away. Aomine would forever regret not being able to talk it out with his friend, and he wasn’t going to lose this chance, lose this amazing person again.

“Daiki.” Aomine snapped out of his reverie from the stern voice. He blinked as Kuroko’s hand weakly squeezed his. “I forgive you, Daiki. I’ve moved on. And if you really want to repent on your actions, I suggest you do the same. Live on, Daiki. You have such a long life ahead of you. I don’t want to pass away knowing you’re still brooding over something as long ago as this.” The pale haired male bluntly stated. Aomine blinked again before a mirthless chuckle erupted from within his core. He didn’t feel free, exactly, However, he could feel the wings of forgiveness soaring in his heart. The dark skinned male grinned crookedly.

“Okay, Tetsu. I promise I will.” _Eventually._ Kuroko nodded approvingly and smiled at their hands. Aomine furrowed his eyebrows as his friend pitifully coughed, pain written all over his face through the tightly shut eyes, beads of sweat, and prominent frown.

“I’m sorry, could you get me some water?” The pale man pointed at the pitcher of water and Aomine hurriedly went to fetch some for his friend. After gulping down the cup, Kuroko lay back down. Neither moved a muscle to join their hands once more.

“Tetsu--” Aomine began, only to be cut off by a small sniffle. Wide eyed, Aomine searched fervently over his friend’s form, panicking at the thought of Kuroko being in extreme pain. He opened his mouth, about to ask where the pain was, but Kuroko shook his head.

“I always imagined when we would have this talk.” He mused out loud, another sniffle ending his sentence. Aomine scrunched his eyebrows together as he patiently waited for Kuroko to continue his sentence.

Kuroko’s finger picked at a worn thread from the blanket. “I never would have imagined it would be when I was about to die.” His eyelids quivered. Liquid spilled out of them in the form of rain drops. “I never really thought about how I would die. I always assumed I would die as an elderly man, with wrinkly hands and wisdom in my eyes as I prepared to pass on to the light.” Aomine wanted to cut in, wanted to tell his depressed friend that everything would be okay, but he stopped himself. Because everything is not okay. His friend was going to die. And that kind of knowledge would drive anyone insane, Aomine included. He gripped onto the side of the hospital bed and willed the tears to fade into dust.

“And after finding out he cheated on me, I just wanted to die.” A bitter laugh rumbled from Kuroko’s chest, and he hacked out another cough. “I suppose I shouldn’t have jinxed myself.”

“Tetsu… It’s not your fault.” Aomine tried. Kuroko shook his head and ignored him.

“I feel like such a fool.”

“You’re not!” The taller male wanted to scream in frustration. But even if he screamed his lungs out, Kuroko wouldn’t listen. The stubborn male would shoulder everyone else’s burdens because he was just that selfless. Aomine stifled the sob being pulled out of his throat. His best friend was always given the short end of the stick in life, ever since he was younger and even now, as an adult. It wasn’t fair. Instead of becoming bitter and cold hearted, Kuroko became the friendliest, most loyal and selfless person Aomine has ever met. And now… Now, after all the things Kuroko has ever done to everyone, he was being repaid like this. Aomine wanted to shout.

“I should have realized that I had so many amazing friends instead of accepting my fate. I should have realized that I could have kept living instead of creating so many mistakes. I’m such a fool.” A sharp, shrill sob and all at once, Aomine and Kuroko broke. Aomine’s heart tore to shreds at how utterly lost and hopeless his friend looked, a contrast to how the pale man should look: confident, and loving, and smart, and perceptive. Not the shell of a man who had nothing to live for.

“I’m sorry, Daiki. I should have sought out help from my friends, from you. Instead, I was stubborn and stupid. I’m stupid for thinking I could have endured all of the pain from my relationship with Akashi. I should have talked it out with him instead of allowing my fears to harbor within me.”

“You’re not stupid, Tetsu!” Aomine argued, his body shooting up with his voice as he glared down at his best friend with dumb water blurring his vision. “You’re the smartest, bravest, coolest person I know who would give everything they got to help other people! You were the one that opened up our eyes to see how arrogant and prideful we were being! You were the one who never gave up on us, even in our darkest time! You were the one who fought the hardest out of all of us because you believed in us, and you believed in our bonds, even though we hurt you so badly…” Aomine trailed off, rubbing harshly at his face as his voice broke at the end. “You mean so much to us, Tetsu. Why can’t you see that?”

“Daiki…” More tears filled up Kuroko’s sapphire eyes. He allowed them to roll freely down his cheeks so they wouldn’t manifest in his chest, wouldn’t change into poison that would suffocate him from the inside out.

“I don’t regret meeting you, Tetsu. I would never regret meeting you that day at the gym. Because you became so important to me, to _us_ , Tetsu. Don’t think you don’t deserve us because if anything, we don’t fucking deserve you and your forgiveness.”

“I-I… I understand.” Kuroko exhaled softly. “I won’t look down on myself anymore.”

“Damn right, you shouldn’t.” Aomine crossed his arms in a cocky way, which prompted the two friends to laugh. Kuroko wiped away the last of his tears and he smiled warmly at Aomine. The glow around his body was so overwhelming, the dark haired male was forced to look away in fear of blinding himself. He sighed, brushing his hair out of his face just as someone knocked sharply on the door twice, the person revealing to be Kise, who apologetically exclaimed that there were no more sodas in the vending machine so he went out to buy some. Aomine recognized the lie immediately, but simply shrugged.

“Thanks, Ryou.” Aomine popped open his coca cola can and chugged down most of his soda. Who knew crying would make one so dehydrated?

“Anyway, I’m sorry, Tetsuyacchi! I really want to stay longer but we have to go!” Kise wailed, latching onto Kuroko much like an octopus. Kuroko bemusedly stared at the mop of golden hair in front of him as he gently stroked Kise’s head. Aomine watched the scene with desolate, dark onyx eyes before hauling off his boyfriend, who whined with his back turned to Kuroko. Aomine smiled sadly at his boyfriend’s obvious attempt to hide his tears and he exchanged a long look with his former shadow.

“Take care, Tetsu.” He nonchalantly placed a small package with his and Kise’s parting gift on top of Kuroko’s lap as he ruffled his best friend’s hair. Kuroko shot an annoyed look at him, which turned out to be completely fond as the pale man smiled at the two of them. Kise’s lip trembled, but he covered it well as he hugged Kuroko one last time. The blonde whispered something in Kuroko’s ear, and the male’s eyes widened momentarily before they closed, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Goodbye, Daiki, Ryouta.” They all knew it would be the last.

“Until next time, Tetsuyacchi!” Kise overenthusiastically yelped, waving erratically at the other as Aomine pulled him out the door. Kuroko knew though. He could hear Kise’s voice catch in his throat as a sob ripped out of it, and the way Aomine silently cried as the door shut behind them both. Glancing down at the poorly wrapped gift, Kuroko chuckled weakly at his boisterous friends. As he opened the gift, the beautiful golden ankle bracelet and a silver chained necklace with a sparkling lapis lazuli hanging from it, Kuroko sighed and smiled at the words whispered in his ear.

 _“We love you, Tetsuya.”_ He closed his eyes as he slipped the necklace on. Just like the phantom he was, the cry that spilled out of his mouth remained a ghost as well.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

It was nearly time. Kuroko could feel it in his bones, in his failing system that was becoming harder and harder to fill air in his collapsing lungs. Kuroko could barely even move at this point, much less talk. Undeterred however, Kuroko all but demanded to talk with Midorima after Kise and Aomine left. The doctor seemed extremely reluctant to do so, but by being reminded of how Kuroko was nearly on his death bed by the man himself, Midorima finally gave in as he sat down next to Kuroko, who was propped up by five pillows by the green haired male, who fussed over him.

“Shintarou-kun.” Midorima acknowledged the call of his name with a grunt. Kuroko managed a small frown as his soulless eyes bore into pear green ones. Midorima stiffened at the intensity before he sighed, fixing his glasses with a push of his taped fingers.

“Tetsuya… I suppose I’ve been a little distant lately.” Kuroko’s brow rose.

“A little?” He inquired, and if he had more strength in his body, the pale man would have rolled his eyes. He settled with giving the other male a blank stare instead. Midorima crossed his arms and guiltily looked away.

“Okay, a lot…” The green haired male sniffed, and Kuroko sighed drowsily. Not only from exasperation of the stubborn male but also from the exhaustion due to his body.

“I’m sorry.” Kuroko would have bowed politely, but again, his body felt like a cross between feeling nothing and feeling nothing but pain. Midorima’s eyebrows shot to his forehead as his fern eyes widened. A small smile on his lips, the patient continued on his tirade as Midorima gaped at him.

“I know I deeply hurt you when I rejected your confession, but I felt like it would be unfair of you.” At Midorima’s silence, Kuroko exhaled quietly. “I hate to say this, but a deep part of me still loves Akashi (a grunt from Midorima). I don’t think it’s fair of me to accept your love confession when I have someone else on my mind. And it would be even less fair when I pass away.” Kuroko casually commented, as if chatting about mindless and harmless trivial things like the weather. Midorima’s eye twitched as Kuroko heaved out a small sigh.

“That’s why… I’m sorry. I should have been more mindful of your feelings. Can you forgive me, Shintarou?” Kuroko peeked up from under his eyelashes, and whether conscious of the fact or not, Midorima felt absolutely cheated. How could he say no to his long time crush? How could he bear to be apart from this beautiful phantom, who didn’t know how much power he held over each and every member of the “generation of miracles”, platonic or not. The green haired male vaguely wondered if that was what the old timeless poets were talking about when fools were in love.

“O-of course I forgive you!” Midorima wanted to smack himself. Of all the things, he just had to showcase how utterly enamored he was with his best friend by stuttering like a prepubescent twelve year old. Kuroko didn’t seem to care about that, though, as a large smile grew on his face and he practically beamed at Midorima.

“Thank you, Shin. I’m glad we’re friends.” And now the green haired male wanted to smack his crush. Rub salt on the wound, that’ll definitely make Midorima feel better, Kuroko. Midorima swallowed down bile and grunted.

“Me too.” Kuroko hummed, a soft yawn expelling from his mouth, which looked too cute for his own good. Midorima gulped. The pale man shut his eyes, long eyelashes flowing down to touch his ghost like cheeks. Midorima remained as still as a statue, watching the male he came to love gazing out the bright window. He was afraid that if he blinked or moved, the phantom would disappear into the light, never to be seen or heard from again. The thought of Kuroko’s small smiles, that light up his face and Midorima’s world, vanishing from Midorima’s sight until he was forced to scrounge through his memories to bask in the warm smiles affected the green haired male too much. He was too far deep in a male that was in love with another man. He was too far deep in a male that was about to die. And most importantly, he was too far deep in Kuroko Tetsuya. And it fucking hurt.

“Shintarou?”

“Hm?” Midorima gulped as Kuroko’s eyes shut, a huge grin on his face.

“I’m glad I met you.” His traitorous heart beat. _Please stop._

“I am too.” _Badump. Badump._ Midorima obscured the tears from Kuroko’s view, shamrock orbs glistening much like the ocean’s waves. “I’m glad I met you too.” _I’m glad I fell in love with you too._

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

 

_“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die?” Red swarmed his vision as his head was tilted up and concerned sunset orbs matched his clear sky ones. A noteable frown was etched on his lover’s face, and Kuroko inwardly smiled at the blatant trepidation engulfing Akashi’s beautiful eyes._

_They had been dating for five years already, along with living together for three. Akashi’s eyebrows were furrowed down, complementing the downturn of his small lips. Kuroko sighed quietly as Akashi maneuvered them over to the scarlet couch, allowing the smaller of the two to curl up against the other like a pleased house cat. Akashi hummed, low in his throat because he knew Kuroko not so secretly loved the soothing sound. When asked, he would vehemently deny the fact, but Akashi knew Kuroko more than the male knew himself sometimes._

_“Of course. It’s only human nature to be curious about that fact.” The redhead easily responded, playing with Kuroko’s hair. The blue haired male clung tighter onto his lover. Akashi pursed his lips, indicating that he understood what answer his lover wanted instead of the philosophical view._

_“I suppose I have pondered over it. A simple “rainy day” thought that passed my mind.” The redhead answered truthfully; he knew Kuroko would be able to detect his lies a mile away. Kuroko exhaled deeply. He entwined their fingers together as he lay his head on top of Akashi’s shoulder._

_“Sometimes, I imagine how dying would feel like.” He pauses to lick his chapped lips, “I get scared thinking of it too much.”_

_“As you should.” Kuroko smacks Akashi’s shoulder and the redhead chuckles. Kuroko rolls his eyes fondly but continues anyway after waiting for his lover to make another snide remark. Silence._

_“And then I wonder, would people care? Will I be forgotten like the phantom man I am?” Akashi was seriously becoming more dreadful of this topic. He knew his lover’s past with depression, of course he would. But, he didn’t know much on the subject and as much as he studied it in books, documentaries, etc, he knew he would never truly understand what it would feel like to be depressed. Stressed and very upset, maybe, but not to the point in which he would want to sacrifice his own life._

_“Tetsuya.” His calm voice were like drops from a tree falling down onto a lake, creating spirals in the water to Kuroko. “Have you been feeling suicidal?” Straight to the point as always. Kuroko tasted the words in his mouth, a sour lemon like flavor that veiled over his tongue. He had been asking himself that question for a while now, especially since he had been faring better than say, three years ago._

_“I don’t think so.” They can’t lie to each other, so why bother? “But, sometimes, my mind tends to wander.”_

_“That’s no good, Tetsuya.” Kuroko scoffs at his boyfriend’s statement and receives a playful bite on his nose. He suppresses the glee threatening to spill out of his lips, and contently snuggles back into Akashi’s shoulder, hands still and always clasped together._

_“I know. I just…” A deep inhale, “I just wish that they would go away. I don’t want to think about ways to die and I don’t want to wonder how it will feel. I just want to be normal.” Kuroko muffles his statement at the end when he buries his face further into Akashi’s warm green sweater._

_“No one’s ever really normal.” Akashi wisely states, staring at the ticking of the cat clock Kuroko tricked him into buying. It’s adorable, but the large, cheshire grin creeps the redhead out. The cat looks like it’s taunting him, its black tail swaying back and forth to the rhythm of the ticking. Strangely enough, it reminds Akashi too much like the grim reaper and nothing like the adorable kitten it should be._

_“Do you believe in a god?” Kuroko asks. They’re a bit farther away from the previous, heavy topic, but the subject is still a little too close at the same time. Akashi shrugs._

_“Not really. You?”_

_“No, I don’t.” An almost romantic sigh. “I believe in the stars though.”_

_“Is that so?” Akashi disguises his slight surprise with a less than interested tone. He doesn’t fool his lover, though._

_“I’ve always had a fascination with the stars, Sei.” Kuroko puffs out his cheeks. “I know it’s childish, but I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be up in the clouds, up in the sky with nothing to worry about but how I'll explain to my mother and father that I don’t want to be back on the ground.”_

_“I would capture every star for you.” Kuroko untangles from him with a roll of his eyes. There’s a tender love in them though, and Akashi feels his breath catch like a butterfly caught in a spider’s web. It was supposed to be the other way around, but the redhead couldn’t think about the specifics when Kuroko suddenly gazes at him with stars in his eyes._

_“I’ll hold you on to that.” He laughs, the neverending stars twinkling playfully in his eyes, and Akashi suddenly understood Kuroko’s obsession with the beams of light._

_At night, when Kuroko holds Akashi in his arms, the redhead stares out the window, where a thousand night stars wink back at him. He turns his back to the beautiful night sky and focuses his attention all on his own personal star. Shining brightly and ethereally, Kuroko sighs from his dreams. Akashi presses a kiss to his forehead and smiles lovingly at his starry eyed lover._

Kuroko stares out the window, the sun about to set as water trickles down from his eyes. As the sky is painted in a mixture of brilliant purple and blue hues, the small male turns back over to the male standing next to him. A pained expression is on his face as he makes the call, and Kuroko smiles encouragingly at him. Midorima shakes his head, knowing exactly how stubborn the other male is as a familiar tone answers quietly yet confidently. Kuroko doesn’t still like he expects himself to from the voice, but he does sigh longingly, wondering when he would stop being such an ignorant fool.

“He’s coming right away.” Midorima tells him, and Kuroko’s eyes twinkle as he smiles at the green haired male. His time was about to come, the pale man could tell. And before he completely disappeared from the world, he had one last regret. Watching the sun setting, Kuroko mused on how the sunset was much like his life, about to set and be stuck in a world of darkness. He supposed he was being too much of a sap and acting way too much like an elderly man counting down his life, but Kuroko was already at peace. Everything was so fast for him in the past few weeks. His life seemed to blur with color, and Kuroko wondered if he would be able to enjoy the afterlife as much as he did with his time alive. Sure, there were a lot of painful memories, but the beautiful, joyful ones overpowered the sense of sadness in his heart.

“Thank you, Shintarou.” He sighed, staring at the wheel chair for his last request. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Nonsense.” Midorima can only reply, his tongue too tied to think of anything else intelligible to say. _I would do anything for you, Tetsuya._ He cursed his cowardice.

“If only I could have fallen in love with you instead of this troublesome man.” Kuroko whispered, watching the sun be swallowed up by the horizon. It was so close to nighttime, and Kuroko smiled wistfully at the sky. Midorima cast his gaze to the floor, another wave of strong emotions pulling at his heart strings. He swore not to cry in front of Kuroko. Not now and not ever.

“Tetsuya?”

“Yes?” Kuroko finally looked away from his dreams and memories and fixed Midorima with a kind smile. The green haired male exhaled slowly. With all his courage, he swiftly pecked the other on the cheek before all but throwing a small box at Kuroko. Shocked, a small hint of rose bloomed across the patient’s face before he stared down at the gift.

“I love you.” _I will always love you._ Kuroko beamed.

“I love you too, Shintarou.” He opened the small box and marveled at the golden ring with an emerald stud. He placed it on his right ring finger and admired the shine of the stone as it glittered from the last of the sun’s rays. “It’s beautiful.” He breathed. Midorima awkwardly smiled.

“I’ve always wanted to give that to you.” The doctor’s smile vanished with the wind as he fixed his glasses and willed the stupid tears to just leave already.

“Thank you. I’m touched.” Kuroko smiled up at him, the sun rays outlining his petit figure gorgeously. Midorima closed his eyes, embedding that memory, that image forever in his brain. As he closed his eyes, he heard footsteps rapidly approaching Kuroko’s room and he figured it would be the person Kuroko wanted to see the most before he passed away the next day. Kuroko’s attention was no longer on him, and Midorima bitterly smiled at the other. It was to be expected after all. So, he melted back into the shadows of the room and walked away.

“K-Kuroko?” The flaming red dazzled Kuroko’s eyes and he slipped a tender smile at his past love. Akashi seemed utterly shocked, which amused the shorter male a little too much. He gestured for the redhead to enter further into the room and Akashi quietly obeyed.

“Can you…?” Kuroko pointed at the wheelchair next to his bed and the redhead nodded, a tilt of his head the sign of his obvious confusion and bewilderment. As Kuroko was being wheeled out into the courtyard, he waved at all the nurses, a peaceful smile on his face. They smiled politely back, some waving back while others hid their faces immediately afterwards. All the doctors respectfully nodded at him and other patients in their rooms smiled at Kuroko.

They finally arrived in the courtyard, where a large sakura tree that was withering away sprouted from the middle of the concrete paths. The redhead stopped the wheelchair next to the beautiful blossoms as Kuroko pulled the blanket all across his body. He stared up at the blossoms, the branches swaying with the wind.

“I’m surprised you came.” Kuroko admitted, a lone blossom flying down onto his outstretched hand. It was dark outside, but the moon was especially bright at night, which added to the light from the street lamps.

“I’m surprised you asked for me to come.” Akashi replied smoothly, sitting down on the bench next to Kuroko’s wheelchair.

“Me as well.” Kuroko chuckled, moving his eyes up to meet with crimson ones. They still glittered mysteriously and shone in the dark, much like flames were meant to. The pale man ignored the coldness spreading through his body as they both took in the beautiful garden all around them. Multiple rainbows surrounded them, and Kuroko sighed nostalgically as he remembered a certain rainbow that he still adored to this day.

“I just want to know… Why?” Kuroko spoke up again, his words like wisps of smoke billowing out of his mouth. He shut his eyes, longing for the wind to pick up his tears as well. Akashi crossed his arms and exhaled lowly.

“Because I’m a coward, Kuroko.” The redhead did that irritating thing in which his nose would twitch when he admitted something vulnerable about himself, and it was only irritating to Kuroko because he knew he was too in love with this man.

“I…” What could he say though? Just like how Akashi would never be able to truly understand his depression, Kuroko would never understand how the redhead felt with all the pressure built on his shoulders since he was a small toddler.

“I was going through so much pressure from my father and from everyone. I know it sounds like an excuse, but I was sincerely afraid of losing everything, including you, no. Especially you.” Akashi’s ruby orbs bore in Kuroko’s with such power that the shorter male feared he would be “weak to the knees” and utterly besotted with the man. The redhead opened his mouth, “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you (Kuroko nearly gasped aloud at the raw emotion in his ex lover’s voice), so I did the only thing I knew: I sealed myself away and allowed my other self to take over.”

“You could have told me all of this.”

“I know. But, I’m a stubborn, stubborn man, Kuroko. Just like you.” A fond glint in Akashi’s eyes silenced whatever snarky response the pale man was about to utter. He breathed in through his mouth, feeling the fresh air barely passing through his worn lungs. Kuroko leaned back against the wheelchair with a concentrated grimace.

“But why Furihata?” Kuroko tried in vain to erase the green jealousy ebbing away at his heart. He unconsciously wrapped the blanket more securely around himself as if to protect the chilly storm wind about to rise from Akashi’s lips. It was sad really, how much of an effect the redhead still held over him even when he was on the verge of death.

“I wonder…” The redhead ominously smiled. It was a weak twitch of lips that scorched through Kuroko’s small beating heart just as a knife would slice through butter. That tone, that apparent vulnerability was unlike anything an Akashi should be, and the mere thought chilled Kuroko to the bone.

Akashi looked too much of a child now, with a weak fluttering heart and a barrage of emotions scattered across his face as the sakura petals in the crisp wind. “My alter ego, if you would, found something he rather liked in Furihata.” Kuroko’s eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to piece together what Bokushi would like in his friend. Akashi’s “alter ego” seemed rather picky about his choice of partner after all.

“What was it?” He questioned after he was unable to locate an exact answer. Bokushi was an enigma to him, even now. Akashi chortled softly, staring at Kuroko with a thousand emotions in his eyes. They sparkled with the galaxy above them, and for the second time that day, he felt his breath die away.

“You.”

“What?”

“Furihata has many different qualities, obviously. However, Bokushi found one thing that Furihata had the most in common with you: your passion and love for basketball.” At Kuroko’s blank gaze, Akashi rolled his eyes. “Specifically, your strong belief in the fundamentals of teamwork.”

“Oh.” _Oh._ He was often told that his faith in his teammates was always an admirable trait by other people. It also explained why he and Furihata chatted the most during his high school years, with Akashi joining in once and a while. Kuroko didn’t know whether to feel flattered that Akashi’s “devil side” felt that way about him or a tiny bit envious. No use denying his feelings for his ex by this point.

“Yes.” Akashi breathed out, the words mingling with the air as his eyes trained on the bright sky. There were so many stars during this time of night, and the redhead refused to look away from the breathtaking sight.

“I’m going to die soon.” Kuroko blurted out without thinking for the emotions bubbling in his chest began to worm its way out of his mouth. He wanted to confess everything to Akashi, all the deep inner feelings harbored within him since they drifted apart all those years ago.

“Oh?” Akashi hid the conflict in him well. But, Kuroko recognized his ex lover’s discomfort right away. He laughed breathlessly, eyes wandering up until they reached the heavens littered with a thousand beams of light.

“Yes.” He copied Akashi’s answer. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to drink my beloved vanilla milkshake anymore.” Kuroko weakly joked, eliciting a dark gaze from the redhead.

“Do you remember?” Akashi nearly demanded with a deep frown. Kuroko gulped but kept his stoic front.

“Remember what?” He pretended to cluelessly ask. But, he knew. Kuroko knew exactly what memory Akashi was trying to dig up and the pale man feared he wouldn’t be able to hold in his heart any longer if the redhead pressed on.

“You told me about your addiction with the galaxy.” The shorter male resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He wasn’t that obsessed with the stars, contrary to Akashi’s belief.

“I know.”

“I didn’t understand how you could love beams of light millions of miles away from the earth.”

“Akashi--” He was silenced as Akashi’s serious gaze returned to him.

“Now I do.” Kuroko wasn’t able to contain the small gasp sliding out of his mouth. It was too late. It was much too late for Kuroko to remember exactly why he didn’t want to fall in love with this man in the first place. He dug his face further into his blankets with sluggish movements, a reminder of what was to come. Muffling the tears, Kuroko didn’t realize Akashi was in front of him before the taller male wove his arms around the dying man.

“A-Akashi…”

“I love you.” Kuroko blinked away tears with the help of Akashi’s nimble fingers brushing them away. The redhead cradled Kuroko’s cheeks in his larger hands, much like he used to treat them with such tenderness back when everything was okay. Back when they were madly in love with each other and neither one of them were dying.

“S-Sei…” He cried. “I-I love you too.” Kuroko confessed, tears mingling with his sharp intakes of breaths. It was becoming more difficult to be able to breath in his lungs, and he knew. Kuroko wanted to scream, but all the breath was stolen from him.

“Shhh…” Akashi’s figure was blurry, but the pale man knew his lover was crying as well. He sobbed bitterly, knowing it was almost time. A choked sob escaped from the both of the lovers as Akashi pressed Kuroko to his chest, cradling him with tender love that broke Kuroko’s heart to bits.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sei.” Kuroko breathed out desperately, gasping as more water spilled messily out of his eyes. The redhead shushed him, his shoulders shaking as they embraced each other like their lives depended on it. Above them, the stars twinkled sadly.

“Tetsuya.. Oh, Tetsuya. My beautiful, lovely Tetsuya…” The redhead whispered into the other’s hair. He fervently placed kisses on his Tetsuya’s head. “I love you. I love you, I love you.” He held in the wails threatening to burst out of his healthy lungs and Akashi slowly pulled Kuroko away from his chest to not suffocate him. It was unfair. Akashi’s scream was muffled by another sob as he watched his lover weakly smile at him. It was so fucking unfair for him, for the both of them.

“I’m sorry, Tetsuya. I’m so so sorry. Just please…” Akashi inhaled deeply. “Just please don’t leave me.”

“S-Sei…” Kuroko knew that it was time. The tears were still coming, and Kuroko hoped that would be enough for him to delay his death for a little while longer. His hand was trembling like crazy as he very slowly lifted it up to touch his lover’s soft cheek. His finger brushed against the warm skin, a contrast to his cooling body. Kuroko lifted up his lips in a small smile as Akashi continued to babble everything.

“I regret everything. I’m sorry I cheated on you. I’m sorry. I was so fucking stupid to let you go. I should have known, I should have known…” Akashi cried, tears choking him as he wiped away the tears so his vision wouldn’t be blurry. The redhead understood all too well. He didn’t want his eyes to be blurred by the water rolling down his cheeks as Kuroko died in his arms. He wanted to be able to see his lover’s beautiful, wonderful face before the light completely faded out of his lovely, sky eyes. They were so clear, so absolutely ethereal as the night sky stars reflected in them. Akashi choked again. Pain from Kuroko’s current predicament filtered into the redhead and he collapsed to his knees, bringing the weak male with him. He curled Kuroko around the warmth of his body.

“You’re my star. You were the one that made me realize how much I loved stars, Tetsuya.” Kuroko’s smile remained. “You were always the one. You were always _my_ star, Tetsuya. You shine so brightly and I’m forever blinded by it.”

“S-Sei…” The words were barely coming out now. Kuroko blinked. The patient couldn’t move a single muscle now and he continued to smile up at his lover’s face. Hiis eyes taking in the stars brightly, Kuroko reminisced over his life. All the sad and happy things were flashing before his eyes, mainly centered around himself and Akashi Seijuurou. The kisses they shared, the intimate whispers they spoke, the calming scent of cinnamon and apples Akashi emitted, the laughs, the tears, _everything._

“G-G… Goodbye, Sei…” Kuroko breathed out the words with the last of his breath, his inner system finally eroding away as his hand on Akashi’s cheek fell. And with a serene smile, Kuroko Tetsuya left the living world.

“No…” Akashi’s eyes widened as the light faded from Kuroko’s eyes and the last of the small flame in his lover’s body vanished with the cold wind. More tears streamed down his face as he lifted Kuroko’s face up to his and pressed desperate kisses all over Kuroko’s cheeks, lips, and nose. As if trying to revive the man once more, Akashi kissed his lover on the lips, once, twice. Nothing.

“T-Tetsuya… No…” The redhead buried Kuroko back into his chest as he cried out his lover’s name. “No, no, no! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Tetsuya!” He wailed to the bright sky. With deep inhales and more tears streaming down his face, Akashi tightly embraced his lover’s dead body. It was too late. It was too late for Akashi to fix all his mistakes and regain the beautiful, lively smile from his lover, the starry eyed gleam that haunted the redhead whenever he was away from his lovely phantom. But, it was too late. Kuroko Tetsuya was dead.

“I love you, Tetsuya. Please… I love you so much.” Akashi planted another kiss on the sky locks. “It was always you. You were the one person I loved more than anything, Tetsuya! My love, please. Please come back, I’m begging you.” He wildly glanced around, looking up to the sky with sad eyes. “Take my life, take everything from me! Just don’t take T-Tetsuya away… Don’t take him away from me…” Akashi begged to the skies. When nothing happened and silence reigned on in the empty courtyard, the redhead gingerly lay his lover’s head on his lap. He ignored the frigid temperature of Kuroko’s body or face as he shut Kuroko’s eyelids with shaking fingers.

The full moon fell over Kuroko’s prone form and Akashi grit his teeth. More raindrops landed on Kuroko’s cheek and streamed down until they hit the ground.

 _Sei!_ Akashi could hear his lover’s voice call out his name. He closed his eyes, not wanting to remember the way his heart beat whenever a certain Kuroko Tetsuya was around.

 _Sei!_ _You need to take care of yourself more!_ The image of Kuroko’s slight pout invaded his mind and Akashi jerked his head side to side to rid himself of the painful memories, of the way the stars were actually shining in his lover’s eyes.

 _Sei, you dork!_ Kuroko laughed in his mind, and Akashi clenched his fists. _Please stop! I don’t want this! Don’t remind me of him! Don’t remind me of how much I love him!_ He screamed at himself in his mind, but his brain betrayed him with another, more personal memory.

 _Sei, I love you._ _I will always love you._ His lover whispered to him softly, the beginnings of a pretty smile playing on his lips as his past self regarded him with soft eyes. Akashi reopened his eyes to stare down at his forever slumbering lover. He reached into his pocket to collect the tiny, velvet box; grasping the box, he opened it up to reveal a diamond ring. It glittered mysteriously in the dark shadows of the moon, and with a bitter smile, Akashi slipped the ring on Kuroko’s left ring finger.

“I was supposed to propose to you three years ago.” The redhead admitted, the scent of cherry blossoms filling his nose and expelling the lingering scent of vanilla from his nose. He grit his teeth, holding Kuroko’s hand delicately in both of his. Kuroko’s left hand remained a tundra.

“I love you, Kuroko Tetsuya. My love, my star… My everything.” Akashi pressed one last kiss on top of Kuroko’s hand as he sobbed into it.

The stars were no more forgiving as they mocked Akashi with their luminous light. It reminded the redhead too much of his lover, and he cried harder against the icy hand. He stayed with his lover even when the last of the stars faded away and when the light from a new day banished the night shadows.

On Thursday, September 21st, Kuroko Tetsuya was announced dead.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Amongst a large bustling crowd in Tokyo, a certain redhead hurriedly strolled through the throngs of people. The chilly autumn air didn’t faze him whatsoever in his trench coat and blood red scarf. He didn’t stop walking until his ears picked up the light strums of a guitar. Frozen in his next step, he ignored the small protests from the people behind him when he abruptly halted in his footsteps. The redhead glanced over to the young male singer, who began to smoothly sing an English song with little to no accent. Without thinking, the male strode over to the singer with careful, calculated steps.

“When I look into your eyes… It’s like watching the night sky…” The singer sang along with the best of his guitar. A few people spared him a glance, but otherwise, no one else stopped in the busy streets to watch the singer other than a certain redhead.

“Even if the skies get rough…” The motionless male was starting to slightly intimidate the singer with his sharp eyes, but the young man needed the money in order to survive. Unperturbed, the singer’s voice became more emotional as he continued to sing. The other man didn’t move whatsoever. He didn’t even show signs of any emotion on his handsome face.

“Cause even the stars, they burn; some even fall to the earth!” A single twitch from the older redhead before he stepped forward.

“No, I won’t give up…” The singer eyed him nervously, but smiled brightly afterwards when the male in the large trenchcoat generously placed a few thousand yen bills in his guitar case. Without a single word uttered, the redhead turned tail and left behind a bewildered yet gleeful smile.

No one paid him any mind, luckily for the redhead. He just looked like an everyday businessman in the busy streets of Tokyo. No one asked him questions or stared at him weirdly; just the way he prefered. As the male arrived at his destination, a large skyscraper office building, he quickly stepped inside. A few guards eyed him warily, but otherwise, stayed in their position. The redhead stepped into an empty, available escalator and pressed the top floor button.

When arriving at the top floor, he swiftly walked over to the door leading to the roof. He closed the door hastily behind him before slowly strolling over to the edge of the roof. Stepping up onto the ledge, he gazed down to the many simple people going on with their daily lives. With a small smile, the redhead imagined how much time he had left before his friends would begin searching for him. Nonetheless, even if they found him at the moment it wouldn’t deter him from his fate.

“I’m coming, Tetsuya.” He recalled the words from the singer. _I won’t give up on us…_ Akashi Seijuurou sighed, glancing up to the blue, blue skies.

_Sei!_

He jumped.

 ****  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's the end! I'm pretty proud of this chapter and I basically pulled "The Giver" move on you so :P The ending is up to the reader to theorize! Thanks for being so patient to me and s/o to all you lovely readers out there who read this or commented or kudos! I hope you enjoyed this short (but also time wise, long) trip and until next time! : )

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know much about cancer (I know about breast cancer bc of my mom) so sorry about any inaccurate info. Let the angsting begin B)


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